


faulty connection

by chivalrousamour



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, Shipping, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chivalrousamour/pseuds/chivalrousamour
Summary: Vanessa was bored. Completely and totally bored out of her mind.It was complete and utter desperation that made her log into her eight year old account on the Tri-state Area’s unofficial forum site, Danville edition.(Vanessa did not really want to think about the implications of Danville being listed among the forum’s other cryptozoology threads.)That was when a certain topic caught her eye.‘Help: My [16M] brother [16M] has a crush on this girl [16F] and she likes him back but neither of them will admit it’posted by flyfletchboy1
Relationships: Ferb Fletcher/Isabella Garcia-Shapiro
Comments: 92
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i watched all of phineas and ferb during quarantine so. clearly i had to write something ridiculous.

" _You…! What have you_ _done_ _?!"_

" _I've killed them all… and next, it will be_ _you_ _!"_

Vanessa groaned, lifting up the remote to just shut off the sad, cliche drama.

She honestly regretted giving up busting her dad at that moment. At the very least, the crushing frustration of complete and utter failure would be much more interesting than the crushing boredom she was experiencing.

Despite all the coursework she had done, all the last-minute essay scrambling, despair, and desperate prayers for a break she had experienced in her third year of college, the moment she got her break, she was reduced to being sprawled over her mom's couch, flipping through channels, bored out of her mind.

Vanessa sighed. She wasn't willing to get up just yet, but her phone was still charging an entire two steps away, so that wasn't an option. So, the brunette sat up enough to grab her laptop from the coffee table. It was ostenisbly there for her to do some online forms for her internship, but… nah.

Going through the same few tabs in hopes of finding something interesting sounded much better than _work_ , was what she thought, incorrectly.

The thing about Danville was that every single piece of news was the same level of absurd. Which meant that ' _rain of fish sent by swarm of whales hits Danville hard'_ and ' _young geniuses make infinite tic-tac-toe ball; practical use unclear'_ were relatively mundane for Vanessa. Her social media wasn't much better.

It was complete and utter desperation that made her log into her eight year old account on the Tri-state Area's unofficial forum site, Danville edition.

(Vanessa did not really want to think about the implications of Danville being listed among the forum's other cryptozoology threads.)

That was when a certain topic caught her eye.

' **Help: My [16M] brother [16M] has a crush on this girl [16F] and she likes him back but neither of them will admit it'** _posted by flyfletchboy1_

She stared at the username for a few seconds, before the answer smacked into her skull.

Another sigh left her lips, a mix of amusement and exasperation this time. Sure, it was one hundred percent lazy and uncreative to just shorten one's last name into a username like that… but, that obviousness meant she had a pretty good idea of who the poster was.

And she knew that, wherever that family went, crazy antics followed.

' _This is gonna be good,'_ she thought as she clicked on the topic.

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _My brother and I have been friends with the girl across the street since we were little kids. She always hung out with us in our backyard, but a while ago, I think he got a crush on her. He's always trying to tell me how great she is and how any guy would be lucky to date her. She obviously has a crush on him back. As in: as obvious as the ground beneath your feet._

_Despite that… they. Just. Won't. Date. Each other._

_Help. I'm about to tear my hair out because of them._

**duckymomoismyfriend:** _have you tried screaming_

**flyfletchboy1:** _What? Why would I do that?_

**punkprincess:** _need more details on the situation._

**flyfletchboy1:** _I have a three hour long presentation on why they like each other._

**punkprincess:** _oh my god_

**flyfletchboy1:** _With song and dance._

**punkprincess:** _oh my godddddddddd_

**flyfletchboy1:** _The only reason I can't post is, well, privacy. You know how it is._

* * *

It was at this point that Vanessa began wondering if she was really getting entertained by the love lives of people six years younger than her, only for her eyes to drift to the new set of messages at the bottom of the thread.

* * *

**Ace-stace:** _Have you considered talking it out? Or like, trying to set them up?_

**flyfletchboy1:** _What would setting them up entail?_

**Ace-stace:** _Oh you know. Getting them together at a date spot like, i dunno, the mall or arcade or something, finding an excuse to step out so it's just the two of them. Saying they would be a good couple. Normal stuff._

* * *

Vanessa laughed to herself at the idea, her laughter only increasing when she saw the response.

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _STARTED BUILDING A MEGA ARCADE TO TRAP THEM IN UNTIL THEY ADMIT THEY LIKE EACH OTHER_

**Ace-stace:** _what no_

**punkprincess:** _you must not be from around here. normal just isn't a thing that exists in danville._


	2. Chapter 2

"So, giant arcade," Stacy said, sitting cross-legged on the Flynn-Fletcher backyard lawn.

"Well, I do believe the adjective ' _gargantuan'_ would better suit the structure, but yes, it is a large arcade," Baljeet replied.

"It sure is big, that's what it is," Buford said gruffly.

"And… Why are you two sitting outside it, again? I mean, you guys would usually be playing around inside, right?" Stacy asked.

"It is a ploy to induce romantic affection between two of our friends, so we are waiting until after they have succeeded in establishing a more affectionate relationship. You know the saying, ' _three is a crowd, five is frankly just excessive,'"_ Baljeet told her.

This was around the time Stacy started going ' _wait a second,'_ and remembered that one forum post she replied to the day before.

In hindsight, it should have been obvious. Who would flyfletchboy1 be if not the older Flynn-Fletcher brother?

Stacy had to give Ferb credit though, this was a great way of getting people together-

"Hopefully Phineas is coming out soon, I'm gettin' bored out here."

"Wait, what?" Stacy asked, before Phineas ran out the doors of the giant arcade, pulled out an aerosol can, and started spraying the door.

"Guys, I'm gonna need more fancy cheese spray!" Phineas screamed, prompting Buford and Baljeet to get up and help him. With their own… aerosol cans of spray cheese.

Stacy got up to follow them, asking, "uh, what's this?"

"Oh, hi Stacy," Phineas greeted her cheerfully, as if he and two other boys were not spraying a pair of doors shut with cheese. "We're trying to get Ferb and Isabella to go on a date."

"...huh," Stacy said flatly, wondering if Isabella still had that crush on Phineas, and, more importantly, if Phineas knew of said crush. At all.

At her look of mild confusion, Baljeet sighed.

"Trust us, we do not know what he is doing either."

"Yeah, we keep tellin' him that Isabella likes him, but he won't listen."

"Oh no, that's because she doesn't," Phineas said, in such a casual tone of voice that he could have been commenting on the weather. "She's completely head-over-heels for Ferb."

"And… why do you think that, exactly?" Stacy asked, making Buford and Baljeet groan.

"Here we go again," Buford said with a sigh.

"It's obvious!" Phineas exclaimed, pausing in his cheese-spraying to rummage through his pockets. He handed Stacy a USB, saying, "here, photographic and video evidence that the two of them like each other. It's three hours long, so you better get comfortable before watching it."

Stacy was filled with the urge to ask ' _why do you have this?'_ but didn't follow through on it, because, honestly? She had been friends with Candace for way too long to question things like that. Instead she let out an "ooooooookay then," and announced that she was going inside.

Phineas waved her off with a "see ya!" while the other two boys looked on at their cheesy handiwork.

"So, how long do you think that's gonna last?" Buford wondered.

"Given the viscosity of the cheese combined with the speed at which it is hardening, I would say three hours, give or take, provided that no one starts eating the- Buford! Get that out of your mouth!" Baljeet yelled.

"What!? No one else was gonna eat it!"

* * *

"Now, _relax_ ," Jenny ordered, seated on the Flynn-Fletcher living room carpet. "You're already the best student in your law program. You just take this break to recharge and not think of anything, alright?"

"Yeahhhh," Candace said as she continued stretching out her leg. "Forget all about school and busting and law… just gotta re- _lax_."

"Hey Candace, you mind if I borrow your laptop?" Stacy asked.

"Yeah, sure, knock yourself _right_ out," Candace answered.

Stacy grinned as she went up to Candace's room, prepping to watch a three hour long video presentation on why Phineas thought Ferb and Isabella liked each other.

Except when she plugged in the USB, she instantly got a weird program calling her Agent P and scanned Candace's laptop to determine its evil level, and Stacy realized there had been a mistake.

' _Oh. I sure hope Perry didn't need this.'_

Perry, at the time, had been crossing his arms at the former evil scientist before him.

"Perry the Platypus, you don't need to be here! I am doing _good_ , because I promised my daughter I'd be good, so she could still live with me as she's doing her internship at O.W.C.A.! There's no evil to be thwarted here!"

Perry pointed at the device behind the man.

"What?" the brunette asked defensively. "It's a _good_ Inator! Well, it's not literally a Good-inator, but… you know what, it'll be easier if we just behold this. Behold, Perry the Platypus, the Bouncy-inator! With this, I can... well, it's in the name, really. I don't have to spell it out for you, do I?"

Perry shook his head.

"Oh, alright, good," the scientist said, before clearing his throat and continuing. "Bouncy things are fun! And fun is _obviously_ good! Which means that this is a good Inator, making your services unnecessary."

Perry then pointed at the giant ominous skull laser thing over to the side.

"A-alright, I understand that this looks pretty evil, but…" he sighed, before putting on a smile and doing the beholding again. "Also, behold the Arcade-game-explodey-inator!"

At Perry's confused stare, he added, "What? Yes, I have two inators today. I had a high school reunion yesterday so I wasn't able to pull off yesterday's scheme. It was just _awful_ , since it was on such short notice so I had to run to the dry-cleaner to get some clothes and... then the _people_ … I had to _keep explaining_ that I wasn't evil anymore, because internship, and then..."

Realizing he had gotten off-track, Doofenshmirtz said, "anyways, I _loathe_ arcade games. Other games, you only have to pay for them once. ONCE! Yet arcade games insist on taking payment each and every time, taunting you with your failures... emptying out your pockets… It's a double whammy of pain and mockery, really. But with this, I will destroy every arcade in the entire Tri-state Area with a wonderful, glorious KABOOM!"

At Perry's continued glare, Doofenshmirtz added, "normally, exploding things is evil. But, if it's exploding _evil_ things, it's a good deed done by eliminating bad things! Two wrongs make a right, so it's a good deed!"

Perry sighed. It would be a long day.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the giant arcade…

"Yes!" Isabella exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air in delight. "I won! Woohoo!"

Ferb was smiling at her as the foosball table's score counter reset.

"I thought I wouldn't be able to beat you in anything, since you're obviously gonna be great at the racing games and you're good at fighting games and dancing games are practically a cakewalk for you, but I _won!_ " Isabella repeated, before giving Ferb an odd expression. "You didn't let me win, did you?"

Ferb shook his head, causing Isabella to start smiling again.

"Then I destroyed you, fair and square!" She said between bouts of laughter. "Come on! Let's go again!"

Ferb made a show of pulling his pockets inside out, gathering nothing but some lint.

"Ohhh, you're out of tokens, aren't you?" Isabella asked.

Ferb nodded.

"I think I still have some..." Isabella muttered, patting at her pockets to check.

She was distracted when Ferb tapped at her shoulder, looking up with a "huh?"

She barely had time to register his grin, before he pulled a golden coin from behind her ear.

"Ferb! You had that the entire time, didn't you?!" Isabella demanded, though she wasn't mad. She still had a huge smile plastered on her face.

"A magician never reveals his tricks," Ferb replied.

"Of course they don't," Isabella said, before she realized something. "Hey, where's everyone?"

She and Ferb looked around, to no avail.

"Darn, we must've gotten separated from them! Let's go find them!"

Ferb nodded, following behind Isabella as she went to retrace their steps.

"I bet they're still at the food court," Isabella said. "Buford was _totally_ eyeing the hot dogs."

Ferb let out another silent laugh in agreement, but, well, they were proven wrong when they actually got to the food court. The other three boys were nowhere to be found amoungst the umbrella-adorned cafeteria tables.

"Weird… maybe they're playing on another floor?" Isabella wondered aloud. "Ferb, what do you think?"

"I think Buford was right. These hot dogs do look good," Ferb answered, staring at the menu.

"We can grab something _after_ we find everyone," Isabella promised.

Ferb almost seemed dejected, but they kept looking.

* * *

"What, you need to _scan_ my Inators for evilness?!" Doofenshmirtz demanded in exasperation.

Perry brandished the USB at him with a glare.

"Alright, _fine,_ but don't blame me when it finds nothing," he said as Perry trodded over to the Arcade-game-explodey-inator. "You're wasting your time, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry just plugged in the USB.

And then, out of the giant laser machine came a voice.

_"For as long as humans have existed, we have been trying to define 'love,'_ " Phineas Flynn's voice started off dramatically. _"What is it? How is it formed? Why do we do it? Well, I don't know the answer to those, but I do know that my brother and one of my best friends are totally head-over-heels for each other! Just listen!"_

Perry stumbled at the voice, suddenly tripping into a wall. Doofenshmirtz looked at the platypus, then at the inator, which was suddenly emitting a catchy tune with lyrics on love, then back at the platypus, all with a look of confusion on his face.

"Perry the Platypus, why did you upload that? Was that intentional or—" he was distracted by his front door, "oh wait, hold on, my doorbell's ringing. Just wait here please."

And Perry did. He was standing around awkwardly as Doofenshmirtz opened the door, prepared to revert to pet mode at any instant.

"Hello?"

Stacy was standing in front of the door.

"Hey there, Mr. Evil Scientist Dude," Stacy said. "Is Perry here?"

"Yyyyyess...?"

Perry waved at the woman behind Doofenshmirtz's back.

"Yeah, he mixed up this USB with another one," Stacy stated, holding up the O.W.C.A USB. Perry walked over with a polite smile as Stacy knelt to hand it to him. "Here you go, Perry."

She stood, before turning and waving to the two. "Anyways, have fun!"

The door closed behind her.

"What a nice young lady," Doofenshmirtz said as Stacy shut the door and went to read magazines in the lobby.

Perry went over and plugged in the O.W.C.A. USB, causing the O.W.C.A. program to run. Predictably, it concluded that the machine made to make arcade games explode was pretty darn evil and made it go haywire. In this case, haywire meant shooting the Bouncy-inator beside it.

The scientist looked on in horror as one inator shot the other, but no explosion came. Instead, the Bouncy-inator shot off one beam, before starting to send off sparks.

"Hm, maybe I should rename it to the Arcade-game- _fritz_ -inator-" Doofenshmirtz mused, before the Bouncy-inator exploded, taking the Arcade-game-explodey-inator with it. "No, never mind, the name still fits."

And then the flaming wreckage of his Bouncy-inator went flying towards him, sending him through the wall.

"CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" he screamed, only his shaking fist visible through the hole in the wall. "I WILL BE GOOD, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE!"

Perry sighed again, before helping the man out of the new hole in his wall.

Again, long day.

* * *

Though Ferb and Isabella couldn't see it, a laser beam hit the giant arcade just then, rendering every surface inside it bouncier than a trampoline.

Isabella immediately started laughing as she and Ferb began, quite literally, bouncing off the wall. She asked Ferb if the arcade was supposed to have a bouncy mode. He didn't answer, because just then, they bounced out the window.

"Oh, this was probably not in the plans," Isabella said as they started plummeting towards the ground.

Ferb immediately grabbed Isabella into a one-armed bridal carry, using his other hand to pull out an umbrella to slow their descent.

"Woo! Go Ferb!" Isabella cheered, before noticing something. "Ferb, is that one of the umbrellas from the food court!? I thought we said we wouldn't grab anything until we found the others!"

Ferb gave her a flat stare.

"You _are_ right that it isn't food, though…" Isabella admitted, before Ferb rolled his eyes. "What?"

Ferb, having both his hands occupied, had to use his head to gesture towards the ground still so far beneath their feet.

"Oh, right, right, now's not the time," Isabella said. "But we _will_ talk about this later, mister."

Ferb conceded her point.

A few seconds passed, before Isabella spoke up with concern on her face.

"The others… aren't still inside the bouncing arcade, right?"

Ferb's response was to look down, prompting Isabella to do the same.

"Oh, there you are, guys!" Isabella exclaimed as the two of them landed on the lawn. "We were looking all over for you!"

"We stepped out to get some fresh air," Phineas claimed, scratching at his ear.

"And cheese," Buford added, causing Baljeet to groan.

"Yep, fresh air and cheese," Phineas concluded as Buford reached to pry more of the cheese spray off of the arcade's front doors.

The cheese was rather sticky, though that wasn't a problem for Buford. What _was_ a problem was that, unlike five minutes before, the arcade doors themselves were much springier than they were before, so when Buford pulled, the arcade moved with him.

The others watched as Buford struggled, digging his heels into the dirt and putting all his strength into pulling back, until-

The tension got to be too much for the ex-bully, and he fell on his tush. The arcade snapped back with so much force that it flung itself into the air with a ' _sproing.'_

(Somewhere in downtown Danville, there was a woman berating her farmer husband for trying to start an arcade without a building or a single arcade game.)

Phineas tried to ask Isabella and Ferb how their romantic date-like time alone with each other went, but Isabella started talking.

"Well, that was fun," Isabella said, "but I think I'll be heading home."

She kissed Ferb on the cheek, saying, "thanks for saving my life, Ferb!" with the same amount of casualness one would use to talk about grass clippings, before turning to the others and saying, "see you guys tomorrow!"

And then she left, just in time for Phineas to let out a high-pitched squealing noise that left the other boys clutching at their ears.

"PHINEAS! KEEP IT DOWN! I'M TRYING TO RELAX!" Candace ordered from the living room.

"SORRY CANDACE!" Phineas answered.

Phineas was smiling so wide his cheeks crinkled, his body shaking from his attempt to resist squealing again.

Ferb looked mildly disturbed by that, looking to Buford and Baljeet for answers on what was wrong with his brother. Baljeet sighed, while Buford shook his head in refusal to say.

The green-haired boy went to get Phineas some water for his throat, just as Stacy returned with Perry.

"Oh there you are, Stacy, Perry," Baljeet said.

"Hey," Stacy said in return, before awkwardly turning to Phineas. "So, uh, your USB _kinda_ exploded-"

She cut herself off at the horrifying scene of Phineas letting out a very _Candace-like_ evil laugh.

"Maybe, maybe a giant ferris wheel next, no, already did that, or maybe, a _chocolate store_ , or, or, SPEED DATING!" Phineas exclaimed while cackling.

"Phineas…?" Stacy said slowly. "You're beginning to worry me."

"He's your problem now," Buford told Stacy, before tossing Baljeet over his shoulder and leaving.

Stacy looked back to the redhead, who had gotten himself out of breath. She was about to ask if he was okay, before he got another idea and ran back towards the house, bumping into Ferb and causing the glass of water to spill all over the two of them. Phineas apologized, before continuing on inside.

Ferb, still flat on his butt with a broken glass and water everywhere, looked to Stacy in confusion. But Stacy had no idea what Phineas was doing either.

* * *

Vanessa got back to her computer with a soda in one hand.

She checked through her list of default sites, stopping on the Danville forum she had recently gotten herself reacquainted with.

**flyfletchboy1:** _Leaving them alone in the most fun, date-like location I could think of worked! But they're still not_ _officially_ _dating yet. Does anyone have any other ideas?_

"Oh Ferb, little buddy," Vanessa whispered under her breath as she started to type, "don't worry. I'll help you out of this mess. Just trust me."

Unfortunately, Vanessa was misunderstanding many things here and was probably going to make things worse.


	3. Chapter 3

Vanessa might not have been the best person to ask even in normal circumstances.

When Phineas tried out her next idea at the dinner table that night, his mother gasped, his father flinched and broke a plate, Candace screamed, and Ferb was flabbergasted. Even Perry had his mouth open in shock.

"What?" Phineas asked. "I'm not allowed to say that Ferb needs to get lai-"

"No, _absolutely not_ ," Linda answered angrily. "I don't even know where you learned that language, young man, but it is _not welcome_ at this table! Go to your room, we'll talk more after dinner! You are _so_ busted, young man!"

"Oh, _come on!"_ Candace screamed.

* * *

"I mean, I know they're not _immune_ to getting in trouble, towels and all, but _seriously?_ An innuendo? And Ferb wasn't even involved! There's still no justice there!" Candace complained into her cellphone.

"Phineas knows innuendos?" Stacy asked.

"Yes, somehow. He must be going through puberty or something. But, Stacy. _Justice."_

It should be noted that Phineas was sixteen years old, turning seventeen, and also, when Candace went back into her room, he was rooting through her stuff.

"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?!" Candace screamed indignantly.

"Oh, just painting my nails-"

"Not you, Stacy! I'll call you back!"

Hanging up, Candace stomped over to her little brother.

"What. Are. You. Up. To."

"Oh, hi Candace. I'm just looking for some magazines," Phineas replied, turning back to rummaging through her closet.

"...what. Why? Are you going to make a giant paper airplane again?"

"Nope.."

"Paper mache praying mantis kite? 3D moving movie set made out of paper? No, a giant tower of paper!"

"Can I start writing these down?" Phineas asked.

"...no. You can't," Candace said, "not until you explain just _what_ you need them for."

Since, well, she may have decided to give up busting her brothers after that whole time loop destroying reality and also an anxiety attack in a crowded hallway sometime in her second year of law school, but that didn't mean she wanted her brothers just doing whatever.

So she had resigned herself to being cautious and wary around this idea, but she was not going to try to interfere or care in any way.

However, Candace's cautious wariness was completely blown away by Phineas' answer.

"I'm looking for the stuff with romance advice!" he exclaimed. "You do have those, right?"

Candace had to physically remember how to pull her jaw closed. She couldn't reply verbally, so she just pointed under her bed and tried to stop having her eyes open so wide.

Phineas thanked her, turned from her closet to her bed, and pulled out said box. He had started to sort through the magazines to find the ones he needed when Candace had recovered enough to ask, "why?"

Her little brother turned his head to look back at her, and like it was the most obvious thing in the world, he said, "for Isabella."

Candace _gasped._

"Mom said I can't use the computer for a week, so I can't ask the internet again," Phineas said, "but I _really_ want to get this right. So, um, you don't mind if I borrow these, right?"

"TAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM," Candace screamed, rushing over to shove the entire box of magazines into his hands. Phineas then watched as she ran out of the room crying, then heard her scream, "STACY, MY LITTLE BABY BROTHERS ARE GROWING UP INTO _TEENAGE BOYS WITH HORMONES_ " into her phone.

Phineas had _absolutely no clue_ what was up with that, so he just took the magazines and hid in the basement with Perry.

The problem was, every single article he found was related to _starting a relationship yourself_. There was nothing on how to help your brother and his crush get together! That was seriously a major oversight on the magazine writers' part.

"Oh Perry, I wish I could ask people for help with this," Phineas confessed as he pet his platypus friend. "I mean, I can't ask Ferb how to set him up with Isabella. Same for Isabella. And Buford and Baljeet think I'm talking crazy talk. You don't think I'm talking crazy, do you?"

Perry let out a reassuring chatter.

"Thanks, buddy," Phineas said, before noticing something about the magazine.

It was specifically aimed at girls.

He snapped his fingers together.

"That's it! Girls like romance, right!? And even though I can't ask Isabella, she's friends with an entire posse of girls!"

The redhead didn't see it as he stood up, but Perry was looking at him in confusion.

"Perry, I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow!"

Perry's expression was somewhere between a wince and a "what are you even talking about?"

* * *

"Hey Ferb," Isabella greeted the green-haired boy as she entered the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. Ferb was standing atop a ladder, assembling a magnificent structure. "Nice toothpick Eiffel Tower you got there."

Ferb sent her a nod of acknowledgement and thanks, before climbing down the ladder to level with her.

"Where's Phineas?" she asked.

"Grounded."

"Phineas? Grounded?" Isabella asked in shock. "What for?"

Before Ferb could answer, Phineas practically leaped forward from the glass sliding door, scattering the toothpicks and appearing before Isabella in an instant.

"Huh? What-"

"Isabella! Hi! I've been waiting for you- can you help me become a Fireside girl?!" Phineas' words came out in a rush. Isabella was hardly able to understand him, which made it more of a shock when Phineas grabbed her hands and looked up at her with excitement in his eyes.

"Uh, Phineas? What are you… talking about?" Isabella looked to Ferb for answers, but Phineas' brother was just as lost as she was, judging from his shrug.

"I want to become a Fireside Girl! In fact, I've already prepared my uniform!" Phineas exclaimed, pulling at his clothes to reveal his orange shirt and brown skirt.

"How long were you wearing that?!"

"All morning," Phineas replied.

"Okay, but why do you want to become a Fireside Girl? I mean," and this was when she looked Phineas up and down, not sure if she should say the next bit, "aren't you a bit too…"

"Male?" Phineas offered.

"I was going to say old. Aren't you a bit too old to become a Fireside Girl?"

"No, no I'm not!" Phineas answered with a grin.

"Um, okay," Isabella said.

"You said ' _okay'_?! Great! Let's go!" Phineas exclaimed, already running off. He was going so fast, the wind generated blew the toothpicks into the fence.

"Wait, I was just- That wasn't what I _meant!"_ Isabella yelled after him. "How does he run so fast?!"

Ferb showed her their blueprints for sneakers that helped one run faster than sound.

"Huh. Cool, " Isabella admitted, before an expression of panic set in. "Oh no, Phineas _can't_ become a Fireside Girl!"

Ferb looked at her in concern.

"Oh, I'm fine," Isabella said quickly, "but it takes a week to formally become a Fireside Girl. I think Phineas might explode if he has to wait that long."

Ferb let out a silent chuckle, before gesturing to his older sister's window.

"Yeah, Candace managed to become a Fireside Girl in a day, but that makes it _worse_ ," Isabella said. "What if Phineas decides to get every single patch in one day?! No future Fireside Girl would ever be able to top that!"

"Are there no rules preventing boys from becoming Fireside Girls?" Ferb asked.

Isabella paused, before pulling out her Fireside Girl Manual. She flipped through a few pages, grimaced, and kept flipping.

Then, finally, she looked up with a confused expression.

"...no? Apparently, the only thing that can bar you from being a Fireside Girl is ' _showing a hatred of animals.'_ "

"That's odd."

"I know, right?"

"Anyways, we have to stop Phineas from setting impossible standards for generations to come!" Isabella announced. "I can contact the other girls and see if they can delay him long enough for us to find a way to stop him…"

Isabella looked up and found that Ferb was gone.

"Alright, fine, I'll do it alone since I'm the only one who cares about the dreams of little-"

That was when a helmeted Ferb opened the gate, showing Isabella his bike. His bike with the wheels that he had attached rocket boosters to.

"Ferb, you're a genius! We'll catch up to him in no time with these!" Isabella said, closing the gate behind her as she stepped closer. Ferb handed her a helmet. "Thanks! Now, let's go!"

Ferb got on the bike first, letting Isabella climb behind him before taking off.

That was when Linda came out to the backyard.

"Hm. I thought I heard something," she said to herself, before noticing the wooden fence. "Oh no, has our fence always been this… splinter-y? That's not safe at all."

She returned inside to find that Candace had been sobbing over photo albums and how cute and tiny Phineas and Ferb used to be. An amused grin appeared on her lips as she told her daughter, "Now you know how I feel."

* * *

"Come in, Fireside Girls!" Isabella called out to her troop on her phone. "Phineas is trying to join the Fireside Girls! We need to stop him!"

"Isn't that a good thing? Then you'd get to spend more time with him," Holly pointed out, making Isabella wince.

"He will either explode from waiting or earn every single patch in one day!" Isabella exclaimed.

There was a moment of silence, before all the other girls spoke at once, admitting that she had a point.

"He should be arriving at the lodge soon! We're right behind him, so just delay him until we get there!" Isabella ordered, just as she felt the rockets sputter out and the bike decelerate. "Uh, Ferb? Why are we stopping?"

Ferb got off the bike, knocking on one of the rocket boosters with his knuckles. Then, he frowned, before taking out a toolbox.

"Ferb, there's no time for that! Let's just pedal!" Isabella said.

The green-haired boy sent her a flat look, causing her to roll her eyes.

"We can do the rocket boosters on the way back."

Ferb nodded, before getting back on the bike and starting to pedal.

"Uh, chief?" Isabella heard Gretchen call out.

"Yeah?"

"He's already here."

* * *

If there was anything that was on the Fireside Girls' minds, well, normally it was stuff about patches or, you know, normal teenager things, but that day, the most prominent thought on their minds was a catchy little tune with simple enough lyrics that went a little like this:

' _NO PHINEAS, NO, NO PHINEAS! NO PHINEAS, NO, NO PHINEAS!'_

"Here, fill out this application, read the training manual, and sign these insurance waivers!" Katie said.

"Alright!" Phineas said, before pulling some weird goggles out of his pocket. The goggles became a headset with mechanical arms armed with pens and way too many lenses, letting Phineas read and sign and write so many papers all at the same time.

"And these liability waivers!" Ginger added, throwing a stack of paper at Phineas. His robot arms just started working through all of them.

"And the non-disclosure forms!" Milly said, throwing another tall stack of paper at him.

"Make your own Fireside Girl uniform… wait, you're already wearing one?!" Katie asked in shock.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be done in-"

"And my summer homework!"

"Adyson, no!" Gretchen exclaimed in horror as Phineas… actually started doing it.

"I think… the summer homework worked!" Holly whispered. "Good going, Adyson!"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I meant that as… just a diversion!" Adyson claimed, smiling sheepishly at Gretchen's indignant glare.

"Insurance waivers, application, liability waivers all done! Homework and non-disclosure forms, still a work in progress!" Phineas informed them, causing the girls to exchange horrified glances.

They then took desperate measures to keep him busy.

"Phineas, fill out this online quiz on zombies for me!" Gretchen demanded.

"Phineas, sign this postcard!" Holly exclaimed desperately.

"Do my homework too!"

"Mine too!"

"Stop that!" Gretchen ordered.

But, despite all their efforts, twenty-eight minutes later, Phineas presented a stack of completed forms, homework done and corrected, an online quiz result, and a signed postcard to the baffled Fireside Girls.

It seemed like all hope was lost, until Adyson came up with an idea.

"Uh, seems that's all in order," she said, "but, we have an informal tradition in this troop. Yeah."

"We do?" Katie asked, before being shushed by Ginger.

"Yeah! We watch... several hours of romance movies! To initiate everyone. So, if you want to be a Fireside Girl, you should watch all those with us!" she claimed, to a chorus of agreements from the others.

Phineas, however, grinned from ear to ear.

"That's perfect! I was trying to get romance knowledge anyways!"

"...you tried to join the Fireside Girls to get romance knowledge?" Holly asked in confusion.

"Well, I thought you girls could, you know, help?"

"...you could have just asked," Gretchen pointed out.

"That didn't seem as fun," Phineas replied.

"Let's just watch the movies and forget about this whole attempted joining thing," Holly said flatly.

"Sure! Let's gossip and give advice during the movie marathon!" Milly exclaimed excitedly.

Very predictably, things got out of hand.

By the time Ferb and Isabella got there, there was a giant palace behind the Fireside Girl Lodge. Buford was guarding the entrance with his trusty velvet rope.

"What… exactly, is this?" Isabella asked the former bully.

"How should I know? I just showed up and started bouncering."

"...okay," Isabella answered.

"May we go in?" Ferb asked simply.

"Are you kidding me?! You can't possibly step into a _formal event_ in your casual clothes! You-"

Buford cut himself off, because Ferb just walked off.

"Hey! That's rude!" Buford screamed, though Ferb wasn't listening. He was busy grabbing his spare parachute out of his toolbox.

"Buford, we've been friends for years. Can you _please_ just let us in?" Isabella asked, batting her eyelashes. " _Please?"_

"No can do."

Isabella was about to say more, when Ferb threw a parachute around her. She didn't even have the time to ask what he was doing, before he had managed to tie the fabric into a toga-like dress. He even tied the extra string into little string flower accessories.

"Huh," Buford said. "Alright, Isabella, you may proceed."

"But what about Ferb?" Isabella asked.

Ferb pulled a purple bowtie out of his pocket and attached it to his shirt.

Buford scruntized his outfit throughly. A white dress shirt with purple slacks and a matching bowtie...

"Nope, still not good. You're wearing sneakers."

That was when Ferb rolled his eyes and just opened the door himself. He and Isabella walked inside together. Buford was so stunned (and impressed) by the audacity involved that he let them go.

They found themselves in a grand ballroom with gleaming tiled floors and a high ceiling. The Fireside Girls were just putting the finishing touches on the decor.

"Girls, what is this?!" Isabella demanded, almost making Gretchen drop her vase.

"Hi guys!" Phineas said, hanging from the ceiling and working on a giant chandelier. Thankfully, his skirt turned out to be a skort. "Sorry, the place isn't quite done yet, since, well, Ferb-absence-induced time delay. Ferb?"

Ferb immediately threw his brother a wrench.

"Thanks, bro!"

"Uh, we stopped Phineas from wanting to be a Fireside Girl?" Milly offered.

"Yeah, all he wanted was to watch romance movies," Gretchen reported.

"It was fun!" Ginger exclaimed as she hung a painting on the wall.

"I still don't know why we made this," Katie admitted.

"Oh, I liked the castle and architecture in the last one we watched, so I wanted to make something like that, romantic ballroom place included, of course," Phineas said.

"Oh. Okay, then," Isabella said. "I guess… there's nothing really wrong with this. Feel free to continue!"

"Wait, don't you want to stick around?" Phineas asked. "Aren't you going to dance? You're all dressed up for it."

And that was when Isabella went ' _what.'_

Because, well, if you didn't know that Phineas was trying to get Isabella and Ferb to dance together and get together, it sounded like Phineas wanted her to dance with him.

But Isabella had too many triangle-headed bruises on her heart, so she took a deep breath in, let a deep breath out, and said, "oh, no, I, well, I meant… I came over because I thought you were becoming a Fireside Girl, but the ballroom? Is fine. It's nice. It's good. You can keep going."

The rambling awkwardness was because Isabella felt awkward, since everyone was staring at her. Including Buford.

"But wait, are you dancing?" Phineas asked.

"...sure!" Isabella exclaimed. "Why not!"

She could feel the eyes of her troop, the ' _oh my gosh it's your big chance with Phineas'_ smiles on their faces, so she just kept her forced grin on her face.

She had basically long given up on that… but that didn't mean that she _told_ anyone. It was _so awkward_ to go, hey, remember that thing, that itsy-bitsy crush that you all think is an unchanging core trait of mine? Well, it's gone now, please stop betting on when Phinabella's happening.

So yes. Awkward situation for poor, poor awkward Isabella.

* * *

"And th-they were _so tiny_ … remember when Ferb was scared of the dentist?!" Candace sobbed into her hands. She was sitting next to her mom on the couch.

"Yes, yes I do, Candace," Linda said, rubbing Candace's shoulders.

"And Phineas used to be…" Candace didn't even get to finish her sentence before she started bawling.

That was when Candace's phone rang.

"It's _Phineas_ ," Candace told her mom in the sobbiest of tones.

Linda just gave her daughter another box of tissues.

"Well, I'll go grab you a glass of water," Linda announced as she stood and went to the kitchen.

Candace honestly was not okay enough to answer, but then she got hit with a bright green laser that made her suddenly start breathing in and out slowly.

("Go back and tell O.W.C.A. that this one is a good one!" Doofenshmirtz yelled at the little teal platypus. "The Take-deep-breaths-inator is a _good_ Inator, for good purposes!"

The platypus conceded his point and left.)

"Hey," Candace managed to say without bursting into tears again. "What's up?"

"Managed to build a hyper-romantic ballroom," Phineas said with a hint of smugness to his voice.

"Ooooh, nice! Are you going to ask Isabella to dance soon?"

"What, why would I do that," Phineas asked.

"...what," Candace said in response. "Why… why _wouldn't_ you? Why did you build a ballroom if you didn't want to dance with your crush?"

"Wait wait wait no. No, wait, I don't have a crush on Isabella. I was calling to thank you for your magazines, because I used it to help Ferb and Isabella get together."

"...Phineas, are you kidding me," Candace said flatly. "They _don't even like each other._ "

"That's what you think, but after you see my presentation on the evidence-"

"You made a presentation?"

"Yeah, but, uh, it kinda exploded."

"Whatever!" Candace exclaimed. "I still say you're _completely_ missing the point, because they _don't even like each other!_ Phineas, Isabella has had a crush on y-"

"They _do_ like each other, and I can prove it!"

"Uh huh," Candace said disbelievingly. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Candace did not know it, but Phineas took that as a challenge. And he was nothing if not a challenge-seeker.

(Except for, like, an inventor, fashion designer, drag car racer, time traveller, etc...)

* * *

Isabella sighed, leaning against a balcony railing overlooked by a starry sky, light from the dance behind her illuminating her figure. It was a scene right out of a romance movie, which was what Phineas wanted.

Isabella, however, was not exactly wistfully staring off into the distance. She _had_ been, but then she got distracted by, wait, why is it starry outside, it's four in the afternoon.

She wasn't even surprised when Ferb walked onto the balcony too, leaning on the railing beside her. She just complimented him on the amazing sky design. His response was to pull out a remote and switch through the settings.

"Wow, nice sunset! And sunrise, and-!"

And suddenly, there was snow along the floor, the railing, and snow falling from the sky.

Isabella grinned up at the sky, even sticking out her tongue to catch a snowflake. She blinked when she felt nothing.

"Holograms," Ferb informed her.

"Of course!" Isabella said, feeling a bit embarrassed that she had thought the snow was real. But still, it was so pretty… "You and Phineas really did do a good job."

Ferb shifted, though Isabella could see his lips quirk up, just a little bit.

"So, how come you're out here, instead of dancing up a storm inside?" Isabella asked.

He waved his hand back at her.

"You followed after me?" He nodded. "You shouldn't have, Ferb, I'm alright."

Ferb just stared at her flatly, until Isabella relented.

"Okay," she said with another sigh, "I just… needed a break. I mean, the girls kept looking at me and expecting me to ask Phineas to dance, it felt way too awkward for me in there!"

Another sigh left her lips.

"I kinda just… gave up on Phineas," Isabella confessed. "I don't really want to _try_ that anymore."

She expected Ferb to tell her not to give up, that Phineas had surely grown up enough to notice her now, any one of the platitudes she heard whenever she hinted at her fatigue to others.

But Ferb simply stayed silent. He listened.

"He's a good friend, and I like talking to him," Isabella went on. "But… I don't think he's the type for romance, you know?"

A single nod was her answer.

Feeling emboldened, she went on.

"I mean, he wouldn't just _give up_ inventions for a girl! Even if it were me! If he has a type, it's probably someone who loves the adventures just as much as he does. I like the stuff he does, but they're not really… _date_ stuff." She lowered her voice to a conspirational whisper. "Remember that cruise ship for Baljeet and Mishti he did?"

Ferb let out a silent snort of laughter, making Isabella giggle.

"I like a game of platytennis as much as anyone, but that's not my idea of a date. And, well, I think I might be… growing out of it, anyways," Isabella admitted.

She had wondered about it a lot. Had she mixed up her amazement and wonder at Phineas' deeds with a crush when she was five and kept at it for eight years? Had she slapped Phineas' face onto her ideal partner, since Phineas was the boy she was closest to as she was growing up? Did she genuinely like him, only for years of obliviousness to discourage her to the point of giving up?

"I mean… everything I did always ended with me getting frustrated and disappointed. And even if I got him to like me, it would probably never wind up like my fantasies from when I was seven. But people still think we're meant for each other…"

Another sigh left her lips.

"I think the girls are pretty much seconds away from forcing me and Phineas into a plan to get us together at any given moment."

In her head, she figured it was kind of hopeless the moment that six people had to try and force a guy to even _notice_ her.

Then she heard Ferb clear his throat, bringing her attention back to the present.

"Ah, shoot, sorry, Ferb. I kinda unloaded a lot on you, huh?" Isabella said sheepishly.

"It's alright."

And, after a moment's hesitation, Isabella added, "thanks for listening. It felt nice to get that off my chest."

Ferb gave her a reassuring smile.

"What else are friends for?"

Isabella let out an unexpected burst of laughter at the cliche line.

"Probably ice cream and dancing. Got any masterful moves you want to share, Mr. Mover and Shaker?"

Ferb's grin turned mischievous as he nodded.

Isabella expected him to dance to the classical music they could hear playing inside.

She did _not_ expect him to start beatboxing and breakdancing on the balcony.

It was honestly absurd. A balcony overlooking a holographic lake and snow-covered forest, snowflakes glittering in the light from within, and this boy was doing the moonwalk up the wall.

Isabella couldn't contain her laughter.

Ferb held his hand out to her. She took it without a second thought.

They danced away from the gazes of others in something less than a waltz but more than random flailing. It was a casual, goofy dance between friends, one where Ferb could make exaggerated faces when Isabella stepped on his toes and Isabella could laugh wildly as he twirled her around too fast.

It ended with stumbling feet, rushed bows to each other, and Isabella breathlessly saying, "Thanks, Ferb. That really cheered me up."

Ferb's answer was a happy, quiet smile.

* * *

Ferb was Isabella's ride home, so Phineas wound up running back home alone. Not that he minded, since he had a sister to prove things to. He ran towards the house, new USB of proof held tightly in his hand and a bright smile on his face.

He, unfortunately, had no idea about the scientist who left the Take-deep-breaths-inator on random fire mode to provide good to others at random.

See, a bright beam hit Perry as he was pitter-pattering around the house. The platypus took a deep breath in and let out a deep breath, his tail moving with his breathing. His tail wound up hitting a stray baseball, making it meander into the entranceway.

Just as Phineas was entering the house, he wound up accidentally tripping over a meandering baseball. He faceplanted into the carpet, which, unfortunately, was where he dropped the USB during his stumble.

Yep, he wound up stabbing the thing straight through with his nose.

"Phineas, why are you sticking out of the floor?" Candace asked, walking into the hallway.

"Bu-bu-but… the proof… I was _so close_ to showing you…" Phineas said, completely at a loss as to how this had happened.

Candace sighed, before pulling her little brother out of the floor.

"Yeah, proof does that. I'll go get you some ice cream."

"Bu-bu-bu-bu-but…" Phineas said, but Candace had already gone to grab some ice cream from the freezer.

He wound up spotting Ferb dropping Isabella off at her place through the still-open door and ran towards the kitchen to physically drag his sister over.

Unfortunately for him, despite Isabella and Ferb having a full-on conversation involving thanks for the ride home, complimenting the other on their dancing, laughter at jokes, and Isabella calling Ferb a good listener, it did not take that long for someone to cross the street. Even with a bike.

So by the time he and Candace got there, Ferb had put away his bike and had entered the house.

"Oh, good, just in time. I was getting ice cream for everyone. Want some?" Candace asked.

Ferb nodded.

"Bu-bu-bu-but… but…"

Candace just dragged Phineas towards the kitchen by force, Ferb following after her normally.

Linda and Lawrence had the sudden feeling that their kids were all grown up.


	4. Chapter 4

Vanessa was seriously beginning to get bored. A week of no updates about the whole Ferb situation meant that the whole drama had plummeted to the abysses of her mind. Its position in her attention span had eventually been usurped by things like how she almost accidentally killed Major Monogram at work.

(It was totally _not her fault._ Carl being promoted meant that she was the one doing things like grabbing lunch and getting coffee for the man, and how was she supposed to know he was allergic to dairy?!)

The only reason she remembered the forum site was, well, because she needed something to do in-between sighing, rolling her eyes, complaining to either Monty or Carl, and the occasional bit of work. So she managed to find the part of it dedicated to cool bands and foreign movies, and…

Well, that's not important. The important part was that, one afternoon, Vanessa spotted another topic under the Danville section that suddenly dragged her back into caring about the whole matter.

' **Help: I'm [16F] absolutely freaking out trying to figure out if I like a boy [16] after like 8 years of liking his brother [also 16] can someone pretty please help?'** _posted by bow-buff_

* * *

It all started early that morning, because Phineas Flynn was a madman.

He had dragged Baljeet and Buford and Candace into his backyard for a demonstration of the _obvious_ pining that was happening between his brother and the bow-wearing girl across the street. The three of them were seated before his corkboard of photos, pins, and red string.

It took about two minutes for Candace to point out that all of Phineas' proof was just moments where the two of them were glancing at each other or standing beside each other. Phineas replied by bringing out the big guns.

"She wanted to hold hands with you but missed," Candace said bluntly, before Phineas threw another photo on the corkboard. "That's just a picture of them talking." Another photo. "Phineas, that's a squirrel in a bow with a pipe."

"Hey!" Phineas exclaimed, offended on his brother and friend's behalf.

"No, I see it," Buford said, before tossing another handful of popcorn in his mouth. Phineas looked at the photo. It was a cute squirrel using a pipe to crack open a nut.

"Oh," Phineas said sheepishly, before replacing it with a photo of Isabella kissing Ferb on the cheek.

"When did that happen?" Candace asked.

"Giant arcade. It was one of your yoga days," Buford answered.

"Ohhhh."

And that was when Baljeet just _snapped_.

He just stood up and tried to throw the corkboard. Instead, it just flipped over to its blank side, but Baljeet was too angry to notice.

"Phineas! I am begging you, please stop! A kiss on the cheek does _not_ automatically mean romantic intention!"

That was about the time Ferb poked his head into the backyard, because normally the screaming in his backyard didn't start until later in the day.

"A kiss on the cheek is a normal way of expressing thanks after someone has saved your life! There is no need to assume it is romantic!" Baljeet screamed.

Ferb poked at his older sister's shoulder, then waved his hand at Buford and Baljeet, managing to ask both ' _why are Buford and Baljeet in our backyard this early'_ and ' _why is Baljeet screaming about this at Phineas'_ completely silently.

"It's just something really stupid, Ferb, don't worry about it," Candace answered as Phineas and Baljeet kept arguing.

That was when Buford noted that he was down to one piece of popcorn.

"If only I could make a copy of them or something! Then I'd _never_ get down to the last piece!" Buford exclaimed.

Phineas stopped in the middle of a mathematical demonstration of how much eye contact was strictly platonic.

"If you could make a copy of…!" Phineas announced, before pressing a button on the corkboard's edge that made it fold up to the size of a stamp. He stuffed it into his pocket, before turning to his brother and saying, "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

Ferb gave his brother a thumbs up, while Candace stood up.

"Alright, but keep it down. This is another one of my yoga days with Jenny, and I want to relax," Candace told them, before heading back inside for a quick nap.

But not before sticking her head back out the door and screaming, "RELAX, YOU HEAR ME?!" at them.

Phineas promised they would be quiet.

"The second you go weird places with this thing, I'm out," Buford warned Phineas. "We're talking no cloning, no romance, nuthin'."

"Agreed," Baljeet added.

"Romance?" Ferb asked.

"Nothing!" Baljeet exclaimed quickly.

By the time Isabella got there and said her line, they had managed to put together a working cloning gun, which, true to its name, was a gun-shaped device that made a copy of whatever it hit. Phineas demonstrated the concept with a dandelion in the yard, then pointed out the knob on its side.

"See, if you're trying to duplicate things like Buford's popcorn, it would be a pain to have to fire over and over and over again, so we added a knob that controls the output. Just give it a twist here, and…" Phineas paused to shoot the inside of Buford's popcorn bag, before a bunch of popcorn bags landed on the lawn. "Uh. Whoops."

"Whoopie, a bunch of bags! I always wanted a bunch of bags for Christmas," Buford said.

"Really?" Baljeet asked.

"Do I sound like I'm kidding?"

"Well. _No_ -"

"Then start helping me pick them up. I gotta get them all home!"

"Uh, alright?" Phineas said.

"Why does the knob have a skull setting?" Isabella asked, because that was a concerning thing to see.

"Oh, because we have no idea what the side effects will be if you fire at that level of power," Phineas said. "We're thinking that things might start growing eyes."

"Or evil," Baljeet added as he handed Buford a bunch of popcorn bags.

"Yep, or evil. So, wanna duplicate some random things?" Phineas asked.

He got unanimous agreement, and the group managed to grab a whole bunch of things that needed cloning. During a musical montage, they made more cookies, more chocolates, and a lot more chips.

Their song ended with Isabella asking if she could use it on flowers.

"Flowers?" Phineas echoed.

"Yeah, I want to surprise my mom and all, since it's almost Mother's Day, you know…"

Except just then, Phineas' gaze went to his brother. And he realized that chocolates and flowers could be used for a certain _other_ purpose…

"Oh no. He's doing it again," Buford said. "Buford is out."

And he took the popcorn bags and Baljeet with him.

They passed by Candace and Jenny on the way out, as the two of them were doing yoga in the garage. Since, well, Linda and Lawrence were watching TV in the living room, and there wasn't enough space in there for yoga _and_ Pinhead Pierre.

Candace was not having much luck with the whole yoga thing, though. For one thing, the garage was pretty cluttered. There was one shelf with contents that were so precariously stacked, even the _slightest_ movement could cause it to spill all over the floor, and Candace kept barely missing it whenever she inevitably wound up falling over. Because it turned out that Candace was pretty bad at balancing sometimes.

Another thing that was keeping her from doing well at yoga was that she was absolutely not focusing on the present moment.

"Just breathe in... and out…" Jenny instructed.

"Jenny, I think I heard a noise from the backyard."

"Candace."

"What if Perry knocked something over? Where _is_ the little guy?!" she asked frantically. "I have to go check!"

"Perry is wherever Perry is," Jenny said. "He'll be back whenever he comes back."

"Yeah, he always comes back," Candace said slowly, trying to remember to breathe.

That lasted all of fifteen and a half seconds until she got distracted by a sound again.

Jenny decided to just give Candace earplugs and a blindfold, because gosh, Candace was so easily distracted.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated...

"Behold, the latest in good technology!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "I call it the Three-inches-to-the-left-inator!"

Perry the Platypus stared at him flatly.

" _What?"_ the scientist asked defensively. "It's a good idea! I woke up yesterday, moved the table in the living room a little to the left to dust behind the TV, but I forgot to move it back. Perry the Platypus, I've been stubbing my toes all morning! It's foolproof!"

Perry crossed his arms judgementally.

"Oh, I see. You fail to see how this Inator isn't _evil_. Well, I'll show _you_."

The platypus looked unimpressed, only for Doof to start aiming the thing. He pointed at some random house in the suburbs, for demonstration purposes.

"Say you've got an evil scientist that just won't stop being bad," he said, in a tone very reminiscient of used car salesmen. "Just point this baby at that evil scientist's house-"

Perry's eyes widened as the man actually started reaching for the button.

"-press the big button-"

Perry was waving his arms in a desperate attempt to stop the man, but no.

Doofenshmirtz just had to press the button.

A beam was sent across town, and he just kept talking.

"-and blam! Instant pain and suffering. A surefire discouragement from evil! It's foolproof!" he said, before noticing Perry glaring at him. "Wow. Tough customer."

Perry pointed at the Inator.

The brunette was very confused, until he realized that Perry was pointing very specifically at the still-smoking tip of the Inator.

"Oh. Ohhh… I just… accidentally fired it," he said lamely, before sighing. "This is going to go on my record, isn't it."

Perry winced in a very specific way that was common to many professions, the ' _I'm really sorry about this but it's part of my job'_ wince.

"H-hey, why don't we just self-destruct this one and move on?" Doofenshmirtz offered. "Please? Pretty please?"

Perry sighed, before lifting one finger.

"Just this once?"

Perry nodded with a grin.

With happy tears in his eyes, Doofenshmirtz pressed the self-destruct button and took several large steps back.

"Thank you, Perry the Platypus!" he screamed as the platypus jumped off his building to jetpack back home.

The home that happened to be hit by the Three-inches-to-the-left-inator.

Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were outside the house, and so weren't affected. And well, Linda and Lawrence were on the objects shifted. The only thing that happened there was that Lawrence shifted three inches to the left and wound up sitting extremely close to his wife, who took this as an attempt at cuddling and accepted it.

No, the real problem was that Candace was in the garage, with the very precarious shelf. And when shifted three inches to the left…

...just about everything stayed where it was, except for one book falling from the shelf.

Jenny watched distractedly as the book hit a paint can, making it roll towards the washing machine. It smacked into the machine, knocking over a laundry basket, which landed on a set of flip-flops. A marble resting in the left sandal's big toe imprint flew into the air as Candace stretched out her arms above her head, soaring through the space above the redhead's head, landing on a skateboard sitting on the edge of the worktable. The skateboard teetered over the edge, rolling towards Candace's feet slowly.

This was just when Candace once again tried to balance on one foot, only to immediately place her foot back down on the ground. Except, unbeknownst to her, she had placed her foot atop a skateboard.

"Wow, I'm worse at this than I thought…!" Candace said as she struggled to find her balance again, placing both her feet together on the skateboard.

"Uh, Candace?" Jenny said, concerned.

"I just gotta centre my core and try again-WOAHGAARUGH!?"

Candace was flailing about, trying to balance, which, unfortunately, was very similar to the motions required to skateboard.

And so, Candace accidentally rolled all the way down the driveway.

Jenny just stared as the sound of Candace's screams got further and further away.

"Hey, is everything okay here?" Phineas asked, walking into the garage with Ferb and Isabella.

"Uh, your sister just like, rolled down the street on a skateboard."

"Oh. That's not good," Phineas said. "Was it the orange striped one?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Oh, good, that one has airbags," Phineas said cheerily. "It should be fine as long as she doesn't activate the rocket boosters-"

He was cut off by a very loud sound that sounded a lot like a rocket launching.

"...you guys put rocket boosters on everything, don't you?" Isabella asked with a sigh.

"Well-"

Phineas was again cut off by the sound of rocket boosters, because Ferb had just grabbed his skateboard and went off after his sister.

"Oh! Ferb's going to save her!" Phineas exclaimed, suddenly having a big grin on his face. "You should also go after them, don't want to be too careful!"

"Um, what?" Isabella asked, as Phineas shoved the cloning gun into her hands, then hit a button on the garage wall. Mechanical hands emerged from the ceiling, strapping a helmet onto Isabella's head and replacing her sneakers with rocket-boosted roller skates.

"Have fun!" Phineas exclaimed, before pushing Isabella out of the garage. "Remember to shoot the cloning gun whenever you want!"

"PHINEAS THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA-"

But, of course, that was when her rocket boosters activated, sending her after Ferb and Candace at the speed of super-duper-lightning-sound-barrier-breaking-blink-of-an-alien-eye fast.

"They'll be fine as long as they don't die," Phineas said, before turning to Jenny. "Want any refreshments while you're here?"

"Ah, naw, I'm good," Jenny answered. "See you around, little dude."

Phineas waved her off with a smile.

* * *

"Hey, Jenny! I think I'm really getting this now!" Candace exclaimed, before doing some more deep breaths. "I'm breathing in and out and my core's all centred! I'm _so_ in the present moment!"

That was when an accidental wiggle sent her flailing to recover her balance again.

"Woo, woo, I got it, I got it! I'm balancing myself! The world is just moving past me!"

Candace's victory cheer was drowned out by the wind. She was so happy that she was finally getting good at yoga that she didn't even notice that she wound up skateboarding through a busy road in traffic. Or that she suddenly hit a ramp (actually just a piece of wood positioned over a fire hydrant some other kids used for _their_ skateboard adventures).

Candace _did_ , however, notice that she was flying. Kinda.

"Wow! Now that I'm relaxing, it's like I'm flying through the air!" Candace exclaimed happily.

Ferb and Isabella were chasing after her, but they were still too far behind to help her.

Fortunately, Ferb had a very bad idea. One so bad that Isabella, if not for the time constraints involved, would have forced him to sign a waiver to do.

Instead, she asked, not for the first time, "Ferb, are you _sure?_ "

Ferb nodded, and Isabella sighed reluctantly.

They had made a giant slingshot using the cloning gun, her Fireside Girl sash, and two street lamps on an empty street. And she was currently pulling Ferb back, so he could catch Candace and activate her skateboard's airbag functions so they wouldn't, like, die or anything.

Isabella, ignoring the little voice in her head that was telling her that this was all a bad idea, let go of the slingshot, launching Ferb into the air.

Good news: Ferb managed to catch Candace.

Bad news: Candace's skateboard (well, it belonged to Phineas, technically) smashed into the side of a bakery.

Which resulted in Ferb and Candace plummeting to their near-certain deaths.

Isabella, quite naturally, did not want her friends to die.

So she did the obvious thing, which was to activate her rocket skates again and rush towards them, pulling out the cloning gun as she went.

Thankfully, Danville was a weird place. A mattress store with a giant bed on the roof wasn't even out of place in town. Isabella saw that Ferb and Candace would land around that area, but there was no guarantee they would fall on the bed exactly…!

So Isabella pulled the knob back as far as it would go, and shot at the mattress.

Unfortunately, she missed, and the gun flew out of her hands. She heard the sound of an explosion behind her as she kept hurtling forward from her own momentum.

Fortunately, she managed to hit the bed's giant pillows instead of, like, a brick wall.

The street suddenly had a giant mountain of pillows. Ferb and his sister hit the pillows facefirst, tumbling down the massive pile of softness, with the pillows at the very bottom breaking their fall. Isabella let out a sigh of relief, before the roller skates sent her into a pillow too.

Distantly, she could hear Candace laughing, saying something like, "Jenny, yoga is _amazing!_ I feel like I just landed in a giant pile of pillows…! I could just drift off right now…" before her words faded away into snoring.

Isabella felt the same way, what with all her adrenaline running out.

She would have honestly fallen asleep too, if not for Ferb prodding at her shoulder.

Isabella groaned as she forced herself to get up.

Seeing Ferb with his hair messed up while carrying his sleeping older sister on his back only reminded Isabella of how much danger they were all in.

She was two seconds away from yelling at him, from telling him to never do something so dangerous again what were you even _thinking_ -

-when he held her face with one hand, pressed a kiss to her cheek, and she suddenly _froze_.

Ferb pressed a kiss to her other cheek too, pulling away with a, "Thank you. You saved me and my sister."

"U-uh…" Isabella replied eloquently, having forgotten all of what she was about to say. "No problem…? You know Fireside Girls, they're always eager to h-help!"

She mentally slapped herself for saying that. Really. She was citing her position as a Fireside Girl and not, you know, the fact that she had been friends with the Flynn-Fletchers since she was five?

Isabella regretted that the entire duration of the walk back to the Flynn-Fletcher household, which was weird, because Ferb usually didn't care about verbal missteps. The raven-haired girl didn't know why she was so nervous around him, and chalked it up to the kisses on her cheeks making her head weird.

(Really. It _had_ to be that. Or the adrenaline making her heart race. Or, or… or… something, because…!)

Isabella had a sudden flip of her stomach, so she apologized to the brothers for exploding their cloning gun, returned the rocket skates and helmet, and went home. She all but barricaded herself in her room, pacing the length of her bedroom as she argued it out with herself.

"I mean, I had a crush on Phineas for _years…_! It's just… it's not that I _like_ Ferb, I just… Phineas was so oblivious, and I got _used_ to being disappointed… so having a guy give me a kiss on the cheek was a surprise!"

She gulped as she kept frantically walking.

"It's ridiculously easy to step over a bar that's _on the floor_. I mean… with…"

With Phineas, she had such grand fantasies that, even when the two of them were alone, in ostensibly romantic scenarios, like a picnic for the two of them, she wound up feeling disappointed and unsatisfied.

It wasn't even his fault! She was the one expecting him to suddenly become a centaur and run off with her. It was just unrealistic expectations on her part.

However, the fact that Ferb kissed her twice was true. Even if it was just her cheek.

Isabella sighed, before throwing herself on her bed.

"Feelings are so confusing," Isabella said to no one in particular.

(She was so confused, she had completely forgotten that she had done the same to him before with no romantic intention on her part.)

Her standards were so mangled by years of oblivious trampling on her heart that she legitimately could not tell whether the fluttering in her heart was genuine attraction or just surprise that a boy she had a positive relationship with had done something marginally romantic towards her, even by accident.

It wasn't helped by her suddenly remembering things like that time she held his hand by accident during the threat of two planets colliding and he reassured her everything would be alright, or that time they were all trapped on a deserted island and he heard her out with a handkerchief, or a week ago, when he heard her out again before cheering her up with a silly dance.

And Isabella felt _stupid_ for only just realizing how quietly supportive Ferb was, how kind and empathetic he was, how he was so easy to confide in. It was like meeting him again for the first time and noticing all the things she never bothered caring about before, since she was always too busy looking at Phineas.

Ferb had been like that all along, and Isabella was only just now realizing it. And it was confusing her to the moon and back.

So she did what any confused teenager would do in her situation: she asked for advice.

Her friends (and her mom), however, were out of the question, because again, Isabella sorta forgot to tell them that she didn't like Phineas anymore. If by "forgot", you meant "deliberately forgot", because, again, _awkward_.

So instead, Isabella logged into her Danville forum account and asked the internet.

This was around the same time Vanessa tended to get bored at work, so Isabella's desperate cry for help was the first thing the O.W.C.A. intern saw when she checked the forums.

* * *

**bow-buff:** _Okay, long story here. I've been friends with these two brothers since we were all kids._

_For literal YEARS, I've had the BIGGEST crush on the younger brother, but… he's been oblivious the entire time. So eventually, I gave up without telling anyone._

_But now, I think I might have feelings for his older brother? I'm realizing now that he's really thoughtful and kind and compassionate and he's sooo cool and I can't handle this! Please please please tell me what's going on with me!_

* * *

Vanessa saw this, and her reaction was to crack her knuckles while giggling to herself in a way that would have made her father proud a few years ago.

* * *

**duckymomoismyfriend:** _scream_

**punkprincess:** _don't do that. tell us more._

**punkprincess:** _so we can help, of course._

* * *

And Isabella did, because she was a ' _sharing-is-caring'_ type person.

She told the internet about the handholding (though she omitted the planets thing), and the handkerchief, and the constant _listening_ he did, and how scared she was when she thought he was in danger, and how she was worried she was reading too much into this. She told them how she didn't want to just be rebounding or something, because he deserved so much better than that.

She even told them how Ferb was admired for being a cool silent genius type, but he was so much more kind and emphathetic than others realized, along with a sense of humour and teasing tongue and _so_ much more...

* * *

**RFOS:** _so you care a lot about him?_

**bow-buff:** _Yeah! Of course I do. Even if I'm not crushing on him, he's still one of my best friends! I don't want to make things weird!_

**Silverguitar:** _Sounds like a crush_

**flyfletchboy1:** _Seconded!_

**RFOS:** _agreed._

**duckymomoismyfriend:** _yep_

**bow-buff:** _I. What?_

**punkprincess:** _is there anyone else who agrees that bow-buff is totally crushing? because…_

* * *

The response was near-instantaneous.

* * *

**QTKT:** _seventhed!_

**byoofthegoof:** _totally_

**Ace-stace:** _uh-huh._

**Hollmark:** _yeah._

**fetchengretchen:** _Absolutely._

**Maddyady:** _lost count but +1 me!_

**millsfrills:** _Maddyady it's like, 12. 13 with me_

**sugarspice &everythingnice: ** _14!_

**crime-fighting-monobrow-dude:** _fifteen now_

**DR_coconut:** _wow. 16._

**bow-buff:** _What._

* * *

Isabella had her jaw hanging open.

No, seriously, sixteen different people spotted her crush just from her forum post? And one of them was _Buford?_ And another one of them was _Phineas?_

That had to be a joke.

A ping from her computer alerted her to another response.

Correction. _Seventeen_ different people. And the most recent one was _Baljeet._

Isabella wanted to argue with them, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she really couldn't argue with them. She _did_ describe Ferb as a total dreamboat genius man.

(Oh _sweetness_ she needed to edit that later.)

Isabella had no idea that, inside a secret agency far away, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz gasped as she suddenly came to a realization that would lead her to almost kill the poor bow-wearing girl. Super genius brothers, having a crush on one for years, the ages and genders matching up...

"Ferb…! The girl you're trying to set up with your brother has fallen for _you…!"_ she whispered to herself, eyeing the username of flyfletchboy1. "You must not have realized it, because she liked him for so long, but…!"

"You okay there, Vanessa?" Monty asked, checking on his girlfriend as she started typing frantically.

"Doing something super important," Vanessa answered seriously.

"It's not work-related, is it?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ha, figured," Monty said. "Well, I'll see you after this super important thing has been resolved?"

Vanessa smirked as she agreed, before hitting send.

* * *

**punkprincess:** _well, if you can't believe the internet, why don't you test it out yourself? you could always kiss him and see what happens ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

Isabella was freaking out.

On some level, she did understand the concept behind punkprincess’ suggestion. If she didn’t feel anything for Ferb, kissing him would be nothing but awkward and horrible. 

But of course, Ferb was a friend and it would be so awkward to just go and _kiss_ him for no reason! 

And besides! Isabella was probably just confused. She had gotten over Phineas when she was thirteen, but honestly, what were her other options in guys? Buford? Baljeet? _Irving?_ Heck, she didn’t even talk to Django! 

It made total sense that she would think she fell for Ferb. He was nice and supportive and sweet and cute and--

And that was why Isabella did not need to kiss Ferb, because she didn’t have a crush on him. Case closed, everyone! No need to jeopardize any friendships!

But Isabella could not stop thinking about it. It was a truly troubling thing. 

She could not ward away those thoughts, even when she went over and asked what they were doing. Phineas and Ferb hadn’t even decided on a thing to do yet, meaning she could not distract herself with building materials and concrete.

Instead, Isabella was sitting on the grass with them, desperately trying to keep her mind blank.

This, of course, failed horribly. She glanced over to Ferb, who had been reading a novel. Again, that infernal suggestion popped into her head. 

Isabella was wondering if Ferb’s silver tongue would translate into good kissing skills, when Phineas, with an evil grin that stretched from ear to ear, asked her what she was doing.

Isabella let out a yelp, instantly grabbing the nearest thing to cover her blushing face. That thing turned out to be the Official Fireside Girl Badge Composium©️.

Thankfully, Ferb didn’t notice Isabella’s staring. Un-thankfully, Phineas _had_. Double un-thankfully, Ferb was now looking at Isabella, wondering what had caused her to yell.

“Um, wow! I _just_ noticed!” Isabella said, trying to act totally cool and casual and friendly, because she was a platonic friend who was _not_ blushing over the idea of kissing one of her best friends, thank you very much. “There are a few patches I didn’t get yet!”

This was… borderline true. 

Because, well, Isabella and her troop had gotten pretty much every patch there was, no matter how obscure or out-there it was. _How-ev-er_ … there were some patches that were completely and totally optional.

“I mean, I didn’t get my…” Isabella flipped through her book for a few seconds. Paused at one page, only to realize that she _did_ get that patch. Kept flipping for a bit longer, then finally hit a patch she didn’t have. “My Survive a House Fire patch!”

Ferb gave her a flat stare, only for Phineas to speak up.

“Oh, that’s a shame! I’ll get working on something to fix that _right away!_ ” he exclaimed. “You two stay here!”

Isabella winced. 

“You’ll be alone… together! Have fun!” Phineas added, before rushing inside.

Isabella felt like banging her head into the nearest hard surface.

How obvious did her crush on Ferb have to be for _Phineas_ to notice so quickly!?

...not that she had a crush on Ferb, mind you.

“I can’t imagine that the Fireside Girls would want people throwing themselves into house fires for a patch,” Ferb said, shocking Isabella out of her stupor.

“I mean, it _is_ an optional patch!” Isabella said quickly. “It was just an example. I’m not going to try and get it.”

Once again, Ferb gave her a flat stare, before gesturing towards the house, silently asking, “and you couldn’t say this _before_ Phineas decided to try and set a house on fire for you?”

Isabella answered with, “Phineas will probably just do fireworks or completely safe pyrotechnics. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.”

Ferb still seemed wary, but he nodded along with faith in his brother.

Suddenly, Isabella had an idea.

“But… I didn’t get my Foreign Greeting Patch!” she said. “Do you think you could help me?”

Ferb gave her a thumbs up.

“Right, let’s start with… French!” she said, thinking in her head that it was now or never. “Bonjour, Ferb!”

And she greeted him with a kiss.

There were several things Isabella noticed just then. 

For one thing, Ferb was really tense. Also, his lips were soft, and her heart was racing and oh no, she _liked_ this whole thing.

Unfortunately for Isabella, who was getting into this, this was the moment Ferb pulled away.

“...that is _not_ how the French greet each other,” he said, face bright red.

Isabella giggled sheepishly.

“Whoops?”

* * *

Phineas, by the way, had seen that. And he screamed.

“Phineas, just what is that racket?! I’m _trying_ to call Jeremy!” Candace demanded as she stomped down the stairs. “Don’t make me call Mom and Dad over from the antique store!”

She found her little brother, crouching over a metal contraption, lit blowtorch in hand, while he was completely and utterly distracted by something happening out in the backyard.

“Candace you just missed it, if you were just one second faster you would have--”

“PHINEAS,” Candace screamed as she rushed to unplug his blowtorch. “Phineas, do not set the living room on fire!”

“But this machine is supposed to set our entire house on fire,” Phineas replied casually, making his older sister’s eye start twitching. “Uh? Candace, are you okay--”

“No. _No_ . No! NO! Dismantle that right now!” she ordered. “You are _not_ going to set this house on fire!”

“But--!”

“NO. BUTS.”

And so, Phineas did, finishing up just as Candace glanced outside.

“What were you even trying to do? Ferb and Isabella aren’t building anything incredibly dangerous,” Candace noted, making Phineas pause.

“What are they doing?” Phineas asked, wondering if, maybe, Candace had just caught them--

“They’re doing a musical number,” Candace answered.

“They’re… what?”

Phineas looked back, his jaw dropping at the sight of the two holding microphones with a banner of flags behind them.

He just barely caught the last line of their song before they put everything away.

 _‘Store them in your frontal lobe, these greetings_ _from_ _around the globe!’_

“Wh- but… b-bu-bu....”

Feeling bad for her brother, Candace asked him, “so, what was I supposed to see?”

“They were… they were _kissing…_ ” Phineas said desperately.

So, Candace opened the door and poked her head out to ask Ferb and Isabella, “hey, what’s going on out there!?”

“Oh, hi Candace! I just earned my Foreign Greeting Patch!” Isabella exclaimed happily. “Ferb helped me out!”

“In what country do people greet each other by making out?” Phineas asked loudly, making Isabella blush.

“U-uh, I mixed up a French greeting with a French kiss… thankfully, Ferb corrected me,” she said, before turning towards Ferb. “Sorry about that…”

Ferb gave her a thumbs up, signalling that he didn’t mind.

“Alright, feel free to carry on,” Candace said, before remembering something and sticking her head out again. “By the way, Phineas is NOT allowed to set the house on fire. Do NOT let him do that.”

“Ay-ay!” Isabella replied, before Candace returned to addressing Phineas.

“I think you insisting that Ferb and Isabella like each other is still weird and not a thing, but if it were a thing, the mysterious force would probably completely prevent me from seeing it. So sure, fine, try and prove it all you want,” Candace told her little brother. “ _But._ You absolutely _cannot_ set the house on fire.”

“Okay,” Phineas promised.

He then decided to go outside and build a hut, because Candace never said anything about setting other houses on fire.

Thankfully for Candace’s sanity, this was around the time that Isabella realized that you needed to be able to replicate your results in an experiment. 

So she kissed Ferb again.

It turns out, hey, it was just as nerve-wracking, heart-racing, stomach-dropping, and butterfly-fluttering as the first time.

Though, the sudden screeching sound that left Phineas’ throat stunned Isabella into jolting away that time.

“What was that?!” Phineas demanded.

“Dramatic Arts Patch!” Isabella exclaimed quickly. Ferb helpfully lifted up the Official Fireside Girl Badge Composium©️ and pointed to the patch in question. 

“Despite Romeo and Juliet’s reputation as a love story, it’s actually a tragedy,” Ferb said. 

“It does have a kiss scene in it, though,” Isabella noted.

Phineas was about to scream, but then he got hit with a green laser that made him take a deep breath in and out.

So instead of screaming, he just calmly asked, “Isabella… will all the patches you earn today involve kissing my brother?”

And, without missing a beat, Isabella claimed, “First Kiss Patch.”

Phineas stared at her for a few seconds. Then he went inside, went all the way up the stairs and to his room, flopped onto his bed, grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it.

The two of them stared at the door until the screaming stopped and mechanical building noises started. Mechanical building noises were a lot more normal around the Flynn-Fletcher house than Phineas screaming, and so the pair felt comfortable going back to what they were doing with no worries.

In this case, that meant that Ferb began to flip through the pages of the Official Fireside Girl Badge Composium©️, only for Isabella to snatch it from his hands.

She was about to list off some excuse about how the First Kiss Patch was in a different edition of the Official Fireside Girl Badge Composium©️ or something, only for Candace’s screaming to interrupt her words.

“PHINEAS! STOP MESSING WITH YOUR LITTLE BROTHER’S LOVE LIFE!!”

“...you’re the little brother?” Isabella asked Ferb.

He nodded.

“I always assumed that you were older,” Isabella said, before remembering that her description of her love life online was now incredibly inaccurate.

Thankfully, there were no consequences for this, since no one had recognized her description, right?

Isabella then remembered that Phineas had posted in her topic. And Buford. And Baljeet. 

But Ferb didn’t see it, right? _Right?_ **_RIGHT?!_**

He didn’t even seem like the type to _use_ forums!

Isabella’s internal freak out session was interrupted by Ferb poking at her shoulder, tilting his head at her to ask if she was okay.

“I-I’m totally fine!” Isabella answered. “Just wondering about… things.”

Isabella couldn’t handle following up on her failed attempt at an excuse, so she just got up and ready to leave. This entailed normal things like straightening out her clothes, making sure she didn’t forget anything, and saying goodbye to her friends.

However, Candace had started yelling at Phineas to stop making whatever machine he was making (apparently it had something to do with fireworks?) again, so Isabella just settled for texting them bye. She was _not_ getting between them.

But for Ferb…

“T-thanks again for helping me,” Isabella said. “See you tomorrow.”

And Ferb gave her a smile that said he was happy to help.

But Isabella was working on impulse and adrenaline, so before she could lose her nerve, she pressed a kiss to Ferb’s cheek and fled. 

“BYE FERB,” she screamed, running like she could escape the butterflies in her stomach if she just ran fast enough.

She was in such a hurry to leave that she completely missed Ferb staring after her with wide eyes, holding a hand to his cheek as he blushed.

* * *

“Oh my god,” Vanessa said.

“What is it?” Monty asked, peeking over her shoulder at her computer screen.

“There’s a _musical number_ going on in the forum,” Vanessa answered.

“What.”

She showed him the most recent posts in bow-buff’s new update on the terrible crush disaster situation.

* * *

 **bow-buff:** _I KISSED HIM TWICE AND LIKED IT OH NO I THINK I ACTUALLY DO KIND OF LIKE HIM OH NO OH NO OH NO_

 **duckymomoismyfriend:** _shhh calm down. scream into a pillow. do the little kickies, it’s fine_

 **bow-buff:** _HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN I HAVE A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE CRUSH ON ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WHAT DO I DO_

 **fetchengretchen:** _you could always ask him out??_

 **bow-buff:** _NO I CAN’T_

 **byoofthegoof:** _a young heart in love is such a beautiful thing_

 **sugarspice &everythingnice: ** _you could try… flirting, lol?_

 **bow-buff:** _How???? Even when I was completely obvious his brother never noticed!!!!!_

 **Silverguitar:** _I think I have a song that might help you out with your flirting problems._

* * *

That was when Silverguitar managed to _somehow_ give the younger girl love advice through a musical number _through the internet._

Vanessa’s eyes widened in horror when she heard Monty singing along, only for her voice to join his.

She tried in vain to resist singing along. But she couldn’t. The two of them sang backup as the internet guy went on and on about his crush on a girl who lent him a pencil in elementary. 

Externally, they were beautifully singing verses of love. Internally, Vanessa was begging for the song to be over and done with. She was also wondering how much of a romantic disaster Silverguitar was, because the lyrics were about this guy taking photos of his crush for a class that didn’t exist, trying to call her all day, making her name out of gelatin, and one time _inviting her to a car wash._

Yeah, the dude offered to _protect this girl from a car wash._

Thankfully, the sudden opening of the door jolted the pair out of their trance.

She could vaguely hear Monogram asking if Perry had really dealt with her dad’s most recent Inator so quickly, while Perry just chattered in response. But that wasn’t important.

The important thing was that she and Monty were safe from the singing.

The second most important thing was that Vanessa had a mission to carry out, and she did so with fervour in her eyes and passion in her heart.

* * *

 **punkprincess:** _don’t do a SINGLE THING Silverguitar just recommended!_

 **punkprincess:** _just invite this guy to the movies or make out with him some more or grab dinner or coffee with him!!! flirt with him like a normal person would!_

 **duckymomoismyfriend:** _yeah, drop by his job with binoculars and take pictures and flirt._

 **punkprincess:** _ARE YOU TRYING TO GET HER ARRESTED?!_

 **duckymomoismyfriend:** _it worked for me!!!_

* * *

Vanessa stared at her computer screen for a few more seconds, before formally introducing her head to her desk.

That was when Monty started patting her back in an attempt to be reassuring. 

“I can’t handle this. I can’t handle the sheer strength of this terribleness,” Vanessa said.

Of course that meant she would be watching the drama with popcorn for hours on end, who did you even think she was?


	6. Chapter 6

"Stacy, I don't think this relaxation thing is working," Candace said, because Phineas was screaming in the backyard again.

Thankfully, Lawrence was trying to handle it. Un-thankfully, he just casually accepted this as the sort of thing teenagers did, thanks to his experience with Candace.

"Why don't you try to do something else then? Like, I dunno, a job or whatever?" Stacy suggested.

"Oh! That could work! It could get me out of the house and…" Candace then remembered that Phineas had attempted to set their house on fire yesterday.

"Candace?"

"I'm gonna try and get a job," Candace decided, because she had done enough looking after her brothers for a lifetime. It was her mom's job to keep them from setting the house on fire.

(Even though, on that day, their mom was at a baking class.)

So, Candace decided to consult with Phineas to keep him from interrupting her attempts.

His response?

"Oh, it's fine, I tested out the cameras with Irving this morning. I'll just send you the footage and photographic evidence later!"

"...what?" Candace said.

"Irving's got every inch of our house under camera surveillance-"

"TELL HIM TO TAKE THEM OUT!" Candace ordered. "Oh my god, how long was that a thing?! Did he ever see us coming out of the shower?! What the-!?"

Phineas blinked, staring at her like he didn't even understand what was wrong with the idea of a friend stringing cameras around his house without anyone knowing.

He probably didn't.

And so, Candace forced Phineas to remove every camera in their household, all while on the phone with Jeremy to find out if working at Mr. Slushy Burger/Dawg was a good idea.

Answer:

"No. Candace, absolutely not. Take literally any other job."

"Noted," Candace said.

To make sure Phineas wouldn't run in and drag her around to show her things, she gave him a disposable camera she found in her drawer. Candace told him to take as many photos as possible, because most of them were going to disappear or get destroyed.

Happy and satisfied, Phineas went to the backyard to meet up with Ferb, leaving Candace in relative (and temporary) peace.

* * *

"What'cha," Isabella cut herself off with a loud yawn, "doin'...?"

Phineas and Ferb looked up from a set of blueprints, staring at her in concern.

"You okay, Isabella?" Phineas asked.

"Oh, uh, I didn't sleep too well last night," Isabella said, massively understating it.

The previous night, Isabella had turned off her computer immediately after the musical number, but she was still stunned by the realization that she had managed to fall for Ferb. She resorted to petting Pinky to calm herself as her thoughts wandered.

She wondered how to handle flirting. Or if she even could. Would she be able to ask anyone but the internet for help? No, she thought, definitely not, everyone she knew either still thought she liked Phineas, was Phineas, or was Ferb.

It was then that a terrible, terrible thought struck Isabella.

' _Oh no, I definitely can't act like I did when I had a crush on Phineas.'_

And for the entire night and partially into the morning, she was haunted by horrible, horrible memories and panic. And embarrassment and humiliation and regret and _so much_ remorse.

Isabella did not know how much sleep she got before she went to the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, but it was definitely not more than four hours. She had been planning on just applying concealer and smiling through it, but she had been discovered in the first few seconds.

Predictably, Phineas reacted to this by deciding to make the comfiest, coziest sleeping experience ever. Within moments, the familiar sound of delivery trucks filled the yard.

(Inside her room, Candace sighed, shutting the window as she listened to Jenny talk about how protests, while not strictly a job, would surely keep her busy.)

Isabella had been told to rest by the tree as Phineas and Ferb made her sleep experience great, but honestly? With the summer day's warmth being lessened by the tree's shade, the scent of grass and machinery and motor oil around her, Isabella was on the verge of nodding off right then and there. Not even the sound of construction could jostle her out of her sleepy state, as she was too accustomed to it to be affected.

It was then that a glass was presented to Isabella, startling her.

"O-oh, Ferb, I didn't even notice…!" she said, taking the glass. It was warm milk. "Thanks."

Ferb nodded in acknowledgement of her words, watching her silently. Feeling a bit embarrassed at his stare, she drained the glass. Satisfied, Ferb nodded at her, before heading back to working on a bed frame with Phineas.

A plain bed was deceptively simple for the two of them, so Isabella paid closer attention. There was no way a normal bed would need so many delivery trucks.

But then Isabella saw tiny mechanical sheep.

She blinked, once, twice, but no, the sheep were still there. Phineas was still working on adding some sort of sliding component to the bed frame, so he didn't notice that his brother had suddenly started juggling the tiny mechanical sheep.

Isabella giggled at Ferb's antics, before wondering just how many sheep he was juggling. She started to count them, but… she lost track of them when her tired mind started mixing up numbers.

She suddenly felt another yawn leave her mouth. Darnit, at this rate, she would fall asleep before she even saw what they were doing!

Isabella pinched herself to wake up a bit, but all she saw was Phineas stuffing pillows into pillow cases and fluffing them up. It was nowhere near cool enough to grab her attention.

' _Maybe I can rest my eyes for a bit… and then see what Phineas is doing…'_ she thought, before realizing something. ' _...where did Ferb go?'_

Isabella was stunned. She had just been watching him juggle! How did he disappear so fast?!

Thankfully, Ferb soon reappeared, carrying in a bunch of robot arms from the house. He passed them to his brother, who began to attach them to the bed frame.

"Thanks Ferb!" Phineas exclaimed. Ferb gave him a thumb-up. "Don't worry, Isabella, we'll be done soon!"

Isabella wanted to thank him, but, just then, Ferb approached her.

"Ferb?"

He handed her a set of headphones and a stuffed Ducky Momo doll.

"We'll be a bit loud," he told her.

"Oh, thanks…!" Isabella exclaimed, taking both gifts as he left. When she put on the headphones, she heard classical music that instantly dragged another yawn out of her.

' _Just… stay awake a bit longer…'_ Isabella told herself.

Unfortunately for Isabella, that was when Ferb returned with a blanket in his arms.

' _Oh no,'_ Isabella thought.

He draped the blanket over her, before moving to sit behind her. The blanket was perfectly warm. The smell of fresh laundry hit Isabella like a wave.

' _Oh no.'_

That was when Ferb gently began to massage her shoulders, skillfully undoing the tenseness of ' _ohhhhhh no my crush is doing things that will kill me.'_

Needless to say, Isabella didn't get to see Phineas complete the bed. She lost the battle against her drowsiness much quicker than Ferb expected. Before he could lay Isabella down on the grass, she laid her head on his lap.

Which really threw a wrench into his plans, because he wanted to finish the bed with Phineas before she woke up.

Phineas, oblivious, looked away from the robot arms to ask Ferb for something, only for his jaw to drop at the sight of Isabella sleeping on Ferb's lap. He instantly took a picture. Or twelve.

Ferb seemed mildly annoyed by the camera flashes, but he didn't tell Phineas off or anything. He didn't even flinch, too worried that he would wake Isabella up.

Phineas grinned as he went over to his brother, crouching before the two.

"So, we're not gonna need the warm milk bar or sheep counting station or massage arms or lullaby radio or stuffed animal giftshop anymore?" Phineas asked with an attempt at a teasing grin.

Ferb, however, didn't even notice, since ' _Phineas'_ and ' _teasing'_ were about as far apart in his mind as ' _Phineas'_ and ' _not being completely oblivious to someone having an incredibly obvious crush on him.'_

So Ferb just told him to keep those in his back pocket.

But Phineas was not done, no, he was practically bouncing from his excitement.

"I'll just leave you two alone. _Together_. Have fun!" Phineas exclaimed.

He was about to get up when Ferb spoke.

"Phineas, you've been acting weird recently," Ferb pointed out, making Phineas flinch.

"WH- weird, me? No, no way!" Phineas sputtered out, before scratching at his ear. "I'm totally not acting weird-"

Ferb stared at him flatly.

"I mean, what's _weird_ about wanting your brother to get along with his mutual crush?!" Phineas said. Loudly.

And then Ferb was just confused.

That was when Phineas tried to make things better, and failed, and made everything so much worse.

"O-oh _come on!_ Don't try to deny it! You've been telling me about how great she was for years and talking about how lucky guys would be to date her and everything! You've obviously liked her for _so long!"_

"Phineas-"

That, however, was when Isabella woke up. Because even with headphones on, she could hear Phineas' panicked rambling.

"Mmm…?" she groaned as she wearily opened her eyes. It was so not pleasant of her to be woken up so abruptly.

Phineas scrambled away, ostensibly to keep building or something, letting Ferb do whatever. ' _Whatever'_ turned out to mean lifting Isabella up and carrying her to the couch, so she could rest without more screaming.

Ferb noticed Isabella suddenly starting to panic with a red face, but attributed this to being startled after just waking up, combined with having a blanket thrown over her in summer. So he let her down on the couch and adjusted the blanket so it wasn't completely covering her.

Ferb returned to the backyard to find Phineas holding the camera again. He sighed loudly at his older brother.

"Phineas… you do realize that I was saying that so _you_ could date her, right?" Ferb asked.

"What?" Phineas asked.

" _Phineas,"_ Ferb said with an intensity that spoke of an approaching headache, "please don't tell me you think she has a crush on me."

Phineas replied by pouting.

"You better not tell me that she had a crush on me or something. I don't know why everyone thinks that!"

Ferb just up and _left_ , off to introduce his head to a hard surface.

* * *

This, by the way, was around the time Doofenshmirtz was trying to convince Perry no, no this inator is a good idea, please don't explode it and report that I'm doing crime, I can _explain-_

Perry, for his part, sighed and crossed his arms over his tiny platypus chest, clearly impatient.

"I, of all people, know just how badly a person's past can weigh on them," Doof began desperately. "That's why, I built the Get-over-it-inator, to help people conquer their demons! It's _encouraging!"_

Perry began to tap a webbed foot.

"Listen, all I have to do is just aim it at someone and they will be confronted by visions of their worst fears and anxieties and traumatic memories, and they will be able to overcome them handily! Isn't that a good deed? Aren't I _nice?"_

At that last question, Doof began to bat his eyes innocently at the platypus, who, if anything, only glared harder.

That glare made the former evil (but not quite _good_ ) scientist realize something.

"Well, they might panic at the sudden appearance of their worst fear… and, well, that… b-but that will only contribute to the-! No, it would just… really freak people out, now that I think about it."

Perry placed his hands on his hips, making Doofenshmirtz deflate.

"Time for the old self destruct button…" he said sadly.

Perry gave him a smile and a thumbs up as thanks for being so reasonable.

Unfortunately, when it exploded, it kinda fired off a beam that hit a car mirror and then bounced off a stop sign and then into the hall of mirrors.

The beam ricochetted off one mirror, then another, then another, over and over until it exited the building, somehow aimed directly at the Flynn-Fletcher house.

It entered Candace's room through the window, bouncing off her three mirror vanity while she was preoccupied asking Stacy what an assistant assistant manager even was, exiting into the hallway. Lawrence, who had been carrying some of his tea set upstairs, quite naturally tried to shield himself from the bright laser aimed at his face.

With a very shiny silver-coated tea tray, causing the beam to bounce into the living room, where it hit Isabella, who had fallen back asleep on the couch.

Back at Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated, Doof and Perry had been staring off the balcony, desperately hoping that the beam hadn't hit anyone.

Unfortunately for them, that was when Isabella screamed so loud they could hear her from downtown, causing Doofenshmirtz to wince.

"That's… definitely going on my record, isn't it."

Perry nodded in the most reluctant way possible.

* * *

Quite naturally, people tended to check on someone who screamed super loud in the middle of their house.

Isabella, however, reassured them that she was alright. Just a bad dream, she said.

So, reluctantly, Phineas, Candace, and Lawrence let her be.

Ferb, however, had been in the garage, looking for something to smack his head into out of sheer exasperation at Phineas. While he failed at that, he had managed to find things like multi-lens glasses, soundproof earplugs, a wide-brimmed hat, an extendable hand, and the back half of a horse costume.

Quite naturally, Ferb decided to try all of them on at the same time, because it would be absolutely hilarious to freak the others in the house out at the ridiculous monster he could cobble together.

The first person he ran into was his dad, who was too used to everything Danville had to offer to react with anything but, "that's a peculiar costume, Ferb." It was actually disappointing.

The second person he saw was Isabella, who was looking vaguely out of touch with reality. Ferb assumed she was just spacey from having been woken up too many times, so, with no idea of her ear-piercing scream before, he spooked her.

It should be noted that Isabella had met her first alien when she was ten and had her fiftieth 'Phineas and Ferb'-related near-death experience that same summer. She didn't scare easily.

Isabella's reaction was, at most, a startled gasp, before she gave him a good look up and down.

Then she started laughing.

This was when Ferb pulled out the earplugs and took off the glasses. The glasses, because it was hard to see much with them on, the earplugs, because hearing his friends laugh made Ferb happy... as cheesy as that sounded.

This meant that he took out the earplugs just in time to hear Isabella say, "wow, Ferb… thanks."

Ferb had no idea what she was thanking him for, but the giant sun hat he was wearing kept her from seeing his confusion. He took that off next.

"I really needed that laugh," Isabella said softly, "otherwise, I'd be remembering that nightmare all day."

Now, Ferb didn't know what she was talking about at all, but he still worried. So, he sat on the couch next to her in a silent show of support, kicking off the horse legs as he motioned for her to keep talking.

"I-it's just a dumb nightmare," Isabella said quickly. "It was just…"

She trailed off, avoiding his gaze.

Ferb, realizing that this was a sensitive topic, decided not to pressure her into talking.

Instead, he patted her on the head with the extendable hand he had found.

Isabella froze at the contact, then looked up at the hand, then at Ferb.

And then she broke out into a fit of giggles.

"You don't have to comfort me or make me laugh or anything! It's just silly," Isabella said.

She confessed that, for some reason, she dreamed of a pharmacist's voice trying to summon her greatest fear: being inadequate.

"But, we actually got into an argument," Isabella confessed. "He had a _really_ hard time trying to figure out something I couldn't do."

Ferb let out a silent snicker at that, the two of them remembering her patch-covered sash.

"And then he was like ' _oh come on! You've got to have a weakness!'_ and I felt a bit bad for him, so I went ' _my love life isn't that good.'_ And then he laughed and told me that it must have been because people didn't find me attractive. And then I yelled at him to shut up so hard I woke up screaming."

Ferb stared at her flatly.

"That _is_ stupid," Ferb told her.

Isabella felt a bit embarrassed by his bluntness, when Ferb continued.

"It's plenty obvious that you're attractive."

"A-ah, uh, um-?!" she yelped while blushing.

"This isn't about Phineas, is it?" he asked. "Because it turns out that he-"

Before Ferb could say, ' _apparently he thought we were meant for each other for a very long time now,'_ Isabella cut him off, for the sake of her heart, her sanity, and general wellbeing.

"No! No, it's not about Phineas! Obviously not!"

Ferb nodded in acknowledgement of her words.

Unbeknownst to them, Phineas was doing Phineas things again. In this case, in an attempt to show Candace proof without walking through the living room and disturbing the pair, he extended the bed's legs so he could knock on his sister's window and show her the photos.

Unfortunately for him, this was when Doofenshmirtz, clinging to Perry's ankle as the platypus walked, got an idea to fix the situation.

"Wait! Wait, wait, that's not my only inator today!"

Perry gave him a dubious glance, then stopped, allowing Doof to get up and explain his next mistake.

"I was in the park, trying to feed some birds, but none of them came anywhere near me! It was disheartening, really," he said, reaching into his lab coat to pull out a gun-looking doohickey mcthingamabob. "That's why I made the Birdfeed-inator! Anything it hits will become nutritious, delicious, _irresistible_ bird food!"

Perry then pointed at Doof.

"Uh…" Doofenshmirtz sweated as he tried to decipher what the pointing meant, only for it to come to him in a burst of lightning. "Oh! _Oh!_ You're trying to ask me what happens if it were to hit a tree in the woods with no birds around!"

Perry facepalmed.

"What? What else would it hit? Buildings? People? Buildings _and_ people?"

A moment of silence ensued as Perry glared.

"...oh. It would be bad… if it hit… buildings or people," Doof said slowly, making the platypus nod. Sheepishly, he added, "well, I'll just… cross a wire here, add a dial here, and…! Ta-dah!"

He presented the addition of a switch that said ' _no hitting people or buildings mode'_ , then hit it.

"Eh? _Eh?_ How do you like _that_ , Perry the Doubty-pus?"

Perry just pulled a clipboard and pen out of his hat, much like a judge would at a competition. Doof, knowing his track record with competitions, moved over to the balcony to shoot it at some easy target like a bike rack.

The beam hit a car mirror, then a stop sign, then went into a hall of mirrors.

* * *

"PHINEAS WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW GET DOWN FROM THERE!" Candace screamed through her window.

"Look at these first!" Phineas answered, holding out a set of photos to her.

That was when a laser hit him.

However, since the laser was modified to not affect people, it bounced off of his skin, hitting the camera and photos in his hand and the bed beneath him.

And then a mob of birds happened to devour everything, forcing Candace to grab Phineas's hand to keep him from falling, as he no longer had the bed keeping him up. It was not the first time she had to save his life in that way, nor would it be the last.

"Next time, use a digital camera," she told Phineas as she helped him up. "And make backups."

"Noted…" Phineas said.

* * *

Doof was anxiously waiting as Perry jotted things down, begging for feeding birds to be enough to make up for whatever terrible torment he had accidentally inflicted on some poor soul earlier.

Just as Doof was about to hit his sweaty-palmed, stomach-flipping, panic-inducing limit, Perry handed him the paper.

"'On a scale from Diabolical Deviousness to Bonafide Benevolence," Doof began reading, "your deeds this week have been scored… Nebulously Neutral!"

He threw his arms in the air in celebration.

"Yeah, baby! Neutral! That means I'm still in the clear! Thank you, Perry the Platypus!"

Perry gave him a thumbs-up in return.

* * *

Vanessa, meanwhile, didn't have much time to go on the forums. She was on the phone with her friend, looking over said friend's resume to help her find a job.

The resume happened to get scanned by a weird O.W.C.A. file, adding a line just under ' _Skilled with machinery.'_

"Yeah, Candace, it looks pretty solid," Vanessa said, before noticing something, "hey, apparently you're eligible for a position where I work."

"Huh? You mean the zoo is looking for more caretakers?"

"Uh, no. Apparently you're legally considered a monkey," Vanessa said. "We could always use another monkey."

Agent M heard this, by the way, and was now keenly listening in with hopes of having a cute monkey coworker.

"Yeah, no, I am _not_ doing that," Candace answered. "I'm good at reining in monkey business, not participating in it."

"That's fair," Vanessa said. "Good luck finding another job. We'll be listening in case you reconsider."

Agent M's hopes were quickly dashed, however, as Vanessa hung up. Agent C laid out a funeral for the monkey's hopes and dreams.

That was when Vanessa got a call from her dad.

"Dad?"

"Pumpkin, is there any way you could help me with, you know, ideas for inators?"

"Nope, not allowed to help morally ambiguous scientists," Vanessa said instantly.

"But I'm good! I just have… bad ideas."

"I'll say."

"I just need someone to bounce ideas off of! Someone who is good with machinery, sensible, and good at reining in monkey business!"

And Vanessa realized something. Someone good with machinery, sensible, and good at reining in monkey business...

"What about Norm?"

"What, Norm? He's busy with his baking lessons."

* * *

"Oh, I think this cake turned out great!" Linda said, grinning up at her robotic partner in pastry-making. "You're really good at this!"

"I use sugar to cope with the stresses of life!" Norm replied.

"Don't we all?"

* * *

"It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, it can just be like, a few minutes? I can even pay you for your time?" Doof offered, making Vanessa's eyes widen.

"Hold that thought, dad!" she said, before hanging up and calling Candace again.

"Candace, I think I have the job for you!"


	7. Chapter 7

Typically, people tended to believe those who seemed to be an authority figure on any given subject. If someone talked with a ton of confidence and seemed to know what they were doing, they could convince a lot of people into believing something with no questions asked. There was even a term for it, authority bias.

Ferb was experiencing the _exact opposite_ of this.

Phineas was so blind in the ways of attraction and romance that, the moment Phineas claimed that Isabella had a crush on Ferb, Ferb dismissed the idea as something beyond all realms of possibility. If Phineas said it was a crush, it wasn't. Simple as that.

Ferb, however, also knew that there was no way he could convince Phineas of his own wrongness, because Phineas "impossible is a word for the cynical" Flynn just would not accept it.

So, Ferb, man of action that he was, decided to remain silent and ignore it until Phineas got distracted enough to forget all about the matter.

Which sucked, because Ferb actually had the power of observation necessary to notice that Isabella was kissing him and blushing, plus the powers of deduction necessary to piece those together into "Isabella likes me."

But, since he was completely ignoring that explanation, he was turning to alternative possibilities. And, because his life was bonkers to the yonkers insane, anything from ' _Phineas asked her to kiss me and she's embarrassed over it'_ to ' _brainwashing ribbon'_ to ' _aliens'_ were all plausible.

Ferb was bouncing back and forth between ' _secret memory-altering brain chip'_ and ' _accidental amnesia misunderstanding'_ at the breakfast table with everyone but Candace when his sister came down.

She was still in a towel, breathing heavily as she stopped before the table, drawing everyone's gazes.

"Candace, honey, you're dripping everywhere," Linda said. "What are you even doing? Go get ready for your job interview."

Candace, however, ignored that to look Phineas in the eye.

"All your phone calls will go directly to voicemail today. If you attempt to drag me over to find proof, I will smack you with the nearest heavy object," Candace promised. "Do _not_ mess this up for me."

"But-!"

"Just go play some sports or something!" Candace ordered, before stomping back to get changed.

Phineas paused.

"Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

"It's nice to know that some things never change," Lawrence said as the two boys went to the backyard.

"You're right," Linda said, before noticing something. "Hey, where's Perry?"

Lawrence just laughed in response.

* * *

After dressing up and commuting, Candace was knocking on the door of the Doofensmhirtz Good Incorporated building's penthouse.

"It's nice to mee...eeeeet…. Youuuu….?" Candace trailed off, suddenly recognizing the man in front of her from that one incident where she almost broke time.

Fortunately, he didn't seem to recognize her, as he simply said, "Oh! You must be Vanessa's friend! Come in!"

"Uh, yeah! I'm Candace. Candace Flynn," she said as she was guided inside. "I've got my resume and-"

"Oh, no need for that, I just need someone to share ideas with," Doof said casually as they walked into a very evil-looking lab. "See, I'm doing my best to do _good_ , spread wonder and joy throughout the world... or at least the Tri-State Area."

"Anyways, I've always been good at making elaborate machinery, it all started when my nemesis was thwarting my plan to become-"

It was then that Candace remembered that Vanessa had, in fact, specifically warned her about Dr. D's habit of going off on tangents about his dramatic backstories.

Unwilling to hear this story, Candace cut him off with a polite "excuse me, sir? What am I supposed to do?"

"Oh. Oh, right, your job. I want to spread joy, happiness, yadda yadda yadda, what do you think of this?" he asked, pulling a tarp off of a giant laser skull machine thing.

"What on earth is that," Candace asked flatly.

"A machine to prevent ice cream headaches!" he announced, puffing out his chest with pride. "I got the idea after I got an ice cream headache from the popsicles they sell at the cart in the park."

"Oh," Candace said, not expecting that.

"It works by melting a person's skull so that the cold from the ice cream can't stab at the inside of your skull!"

"I'm sorry, did you just say it melts skulls?"

"Yes. To prevent ice cream headaches."

Candace took in a deep breath, before saying, "I suddenly understand why you need help."

* * *

Perry, who had been watching from an airway vent, felt confident in Candace's common sense and self-preservation skills, and so, he resolved to return later.

In the meantime, he returned home, where Phineas and Ferb had made a giant flying stadium.

The giant flying stadium was because, well, Candace never specified _what_ sport she wanted the boys to play, so they decided to play all of them, with a stadium that could adjust its own dimensions as needed for each game. This would be very difficult to do on the ground without ruining the lawn and upsetting their mother, so, obviously, it had to fly.

There was also the fact that a giant flying stadium was just objectively cooler than a giant stadium on the ground.

It was an epic event, worthy of dramatic announcers and cheerleaders and huge crowds, so naturally, all three were included.

Phineas and Ferb's antics just naturally attracted crowds, so there was no shortage of people to fill the stadium.

Isabella had gladly taken the mic when Phineas offered, ready and willing to use her truck rally voice once again.

However, Phineas, innocent and oblivious as he was, had plans sometimes. And so, he shoved Ferb into the announcer booth with her.

This would have been much less of a problem if Ferb wasn't in a miniskirt at the time.

See, Ferb never had a problem wearing dresses for whatever reason as a kid, letting him easily fill the role of cheerleader when the position opened up. However, he was no longer a child, but a teenager. And he was in the same room as another teenager who happened to have a crush on him.

Isabella, by the way, was handling this poorly, if by poorly, you meant terribly, and if by terribly, you meant _awfully_.

"The, the clock is t-ticking, it's time… for volleyball-!" she stammered, just as Ferb tapped her on the shoulder. She had been trying to keep her gaze _away_ from him and his cheerleader outfit, but she could not ignore him this time.

And so she glanced at him. And saw him holding up a badminton birdie.

"It's badminton?!" she demanded in shock, actually looking at the field. And it was most definitely badminton, because if it wasn't, then there were a bunch of birdie-launching platypi machines on the field for no reason.

That was when Perry meandered his way into the announcers' booth, prompting Ferb to pick up the platypus, lay him on his lap, and start petting.

Isabella desperately tried to keep track of the game and _not_ look over, when the gurgle of one satisfied platypus caught her attention.

And it was a problem, because, in the pursuit of comfort, Ferb propped his feet up on the desk before him, meaning that Isabella got an eyeful of his long, willowy legs.

Her jaw dropped. Django's amazing serve went completely unnoted, and no one even heard about the scores suddenly being tied.

Now, normally Ferb would interpret a girl's jaw dropping, face flushing, and stuttering at the sight of him as, well, her checking him out. But he was ignoring that possibility, so instead, he took it as Isabella being very surprised by noticing something about him.

It couldn't have been Perry on his lap, because everyone in their inner circle was used to Perry showing up whenever. So, Ferb decided it was something else.

"I thought shaving my legs was only proper," Ferb explained quietly.

"You _w-what-_?!"

Silently, Ferb pointed at her hand, then at his legs.

Isabella froze, before the implied question hit her like a lightning strike.

' _Do you want to feel it or something?'_

Isabella let out a sound that sounded a lot like a piece of paper crumpling and tearing at the seams, because that was what was happening to her sanity.

"It looks like we'll have to take a break," Ferb said into the mic, "our announcer seems to be under some emotional distress."

* * *

"Vanessa, um," Candace said into her phone, stopping there because she didn't know what to say.

"Is my dad giving you a hard time or something?"

Candace glanced over, before returning her attention to her phone.

"He's sitting in the corner, hugging his knees, and crying about lawn gnomes," Candace said.

Vanessa paused.

"Candace, _what_ have you _**done**_."

"I don't know! I just stopped him from melting skulls! And then he made another Inator thingie, and that thing was supposed to undo deforestation by returning trees to nature, and I went ' _uh, isn't that destroying a building?'_ and then he tried to make another one that was supposed to make bad people disappear, and I went ' _Dr. D, that's called murder'_ and then he started getting another idea so I was like ' _maybe you should try and see if it's a good idea before making it?'_ and _then_ he started crying."

Candace heard Vanessa sigh very loudly.

"You are on your own," Vanessa declared.

"What, Vanessa, no! You can't let me deal with this alone! He's _your_ dad!"

"That doesn't mean I know how to handle him!"

" _Vanessa!"_

"Okay, maybe… just… I don't know! Let him make something that isn't completely terrible!"

Vanessa then had to hang up, because it was very hard to carry a stack of paperwork with one hand, a cup of coffee with the other, _and_ talk on the phone at the same time.

Candace put her phone back in her pocket, gulped, and went to talk to the crying man.

It was just that, just then, a giant flying stadium flew past the building, because they needed to restock on snacks during the break.

This giant flying stadium was very fast, so it generated quite a shockwave as it moved. This shockwave had the effect of blowing clothes off clotheslines, sending newspapers flying into the air, and knocking things off of shelves.

Which was why a thick photo album suddenly smacked into the back of Candace's skull and sent her sprawled onto the floor in front of Dr. D.

"Ow! Hey, what was…" Candace trailed off as she pushed herself up, spotting the album. It had landed on the floor, opened to a random page. "Hey, are these ideas?"

Doof looked up, seemingly growing sadder at the sight.

"Oh, those. They're my failed, evil Inators. No point in looking at those."

"No, no, some of these are good ideas!" Candace exclaimed.

"They are?"

"They are!" Candace said, before launching herself into a musical number, back-up dancers just appearing out of nowhere to support her.

' _Kicking sand and water together can make a beach! With this Super-claw-inator, nothing's out of reach! Bread, turkey, juice, plus dessert can never hurt-!'_

But of course, this fanfic doesn't have the budget for musical numbers, so this is when we'll have to cut away.

* * *

Isabella gulped down her water messily, wiping at her mouth roughly after.

Ferb offered her another water bottle, only for Isabella to refuse.

"No, no, it's fine, it's just, boy, announcing sure makes you thirsty!" Isabella said quickly, only to regret her choice of words, choices in life, and her general existence.

Thankfully, Ferb just ignored that.

He passed her the microphone, allowing her to start announcing once again.

" _EPIC SUDDEN DEATH TIEBREAKER BETWEEN THE TEAMS! THIS ROUND WILL DETERMINE WHO WINS, WHO LIVES, WHO_ _ **DIES-!**_ " Isabella screamed, before suddenly remembering that she was in the same booth as her crush. Sheepishly, she added, "uh, teehee! I mean, let's all have a fun time!"

"Yes, we wouldn't want the last moments of anyone's life to be a bore," Ferb added, making Isabella pause.

Ferb looked at her expectantly, prompting her to continue. And so, Isabella did, in the calmest voice she could muster.

"Baljeet has the ball, oh! Phineas stole it, and- OH! Buford just _tackled him,_ smearing the punk _against the ground!"_

Isabella panicked at the sudden reappearance of her truck rally voice, only to look over and realize-

Ferb was trying to keep himself from laughing.

There was no hiding the amusement in his eyes, how he had pressed his hand over his mouth, how eagerly he was watching her.

And suddenly, Isabella felt like her heart was beating louder than the roaring crowd inside the stadium.

Emboldened, she began to dramatically narrate the game, causing everyone's excitement to go through the roof.

" _OHHHH!_ IT SEEMS LIKE GINGER HAS DECIDED TO LAY THE _SMACKDOWN_ UPON THE OTHER TEAM! NO ONE COULD STAND A CHANCE AGAINST HER IN ARCHERY- HUH!? WE'VE HIT THE TIMER'S END! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE OUR NEXT SPORT!?"

"Seems like it's Croquet Y-8," Ferb said simply.

"CROQUET Y-8 _**TO THE DEATH!"**_

Ferb turned his head to avoid laughing into the mic, encouraging Isabella even more.

* * *

"Thank you, Candace, I needed that encouragement!" Doof exclaimed as the backup dancers left.

"What's up with the backup dancers?"

"Oh, they're essential to the Inator making process," he said. "You should stick around for one of our rehearsals one day-"

However, this was when a giant flying stadium full of screaming people and one particularly loud screaming person with a mic passed by, causing the two of them to clutch at their ears.

As Doofenshmirtz began demanding what in the world that was, Candace knew that that giant massive thing could only be the work of her brothers.

However, she made a critical mistake, in that she assumed that Phineas employed a strategy she would have thought of: if you couldn't bring her to the thing, bring the thing to her.

It was entirely an oversight on her part.

But that didn't mean she was going to put up with it.

"Dr. D? Do you have anything that could, I dunno… make things stop?" Candace asked, the moment they could finally start hearing things.

"Uh, depends, do you mean stop moving, or stop doing things, or… actually, that's about the only two uses of the word stop."

"Yes, yes they are," Candace said, "now, something that will make someone stop doing things."

"I think I've still got the blueprints from my old Freez-inator somewhere?"

"Great! Let's get my brother- I mean, that racket- to stop!" Candace declared.

Doofenshmirtz was very confused, but also very excited to do something that was considered good.

Thankfully, with Candace's help, the construction went by very quickly. Unthankfully, by that time, the giant flying stadium had already left.

So, obviously, Candace ran off to report the thing's coordinates to her new boss. For good and justice and yadda yadda yadda.

She called him with the location, he shot off the beam, and then just as Doof was doing the customary celebratory "oh _yeah_ baby"s and such, there was a knock on his door.

"Oh, hello there, Perry the Platypus, did you come to meet my new assistant? You just missed her," Doof said, before Perry crossed his arms over his chest.

Now, while Doofenshmirtz didn't speak platypus, he _did_ speak ' _uh-oh'_ , and could recognize that this was a Very Bad Sign. One could even call it disastrous.

"I-is something wrong, Perry the-"

Perry pointed at the Freez-inator, causing Doofenshmirtz to start sweating.

"Th-the Freez-inator? No, it isn't- It's not _evil_ , I know it's the same one I used when I _was_ evil, but it's not- the _intent_ is different-!"

Perry began tapping his foot, and so, Doof began to beg.

"Perry the Platypus, you believe me, right?! After all we've been through!?"

And for a brief moment, Perry's expression softened, before Doof opened his mouth again and ruined everything.

"It was my assistant's idea! She wanted to freeze things! It's not like _I_ did something wrong!"

Now, Perry, despite being aware of all of Candace's vices, knew that Candace would most likely not do evil things of her own free will. Unless she was really annoyed or something, but that was true of most people.

So, angry and disappointed in Doof's attempt to throw Candace under the bus, Perry pulled off his hat and reached into it.

Doof gasped in horror as Perry pulled out the weapon of his doom.

A ticketpad and pen.

"No, Perry the Platypus, you can't-! You can't give me a ticket for bad behaviour! No!"

But Perry put pen to paper regardless.

With a stern glare, Perry slapped a ticket into Doof's hand, then smacked the Inator's self-destruct button.

By the time Candace came back, Perry was long gone. Doof had already finshed cursing the platypus, and was sobbing as he cleaned up the remains of his destroyed Inator.

Candace took in a deep breath, before patting Doof on the back.

"There there… we can try again tomorrow," Candace said awkwardly.

* * *

By the way, the beam hit the stadium just as a woman was scolding her husband for becoming a sports coach for a volleyball/soccer/football/crochet/etc team without a single place to practice.

The crowd and the players and the announcers left the now-completely-immobile stadium in a rush of excitement and laughter, as was natural after one of Phineas and Ferb's antics.

Though, if Isabella stuck a bit closer to Ferb as the group returned to the Flynn-Fletcher household, no one seemed to notice.

Except Phineas. He definitely noticed.

* * *

 **flyfletchboy01:** _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! IT WORKED! IT_ _WORKED!_ _IT IS WORKING!_

**punkprincess:** _are they dating?_

**flyfletchboy01:** _...no._

**flyfletchboy01:** _But they were laughing it up and had a totally good mood going!_

* * *

Vanessa wondered how badly her friend had to have suffered for something as small as that to be considered a victory.

"Oh, you poor broken man… don't worry. Everything's going to be fine."

* * *

**punkprincess:** _it's time to break out the big guns, dude_

* * *

Predictably, Vanessa's suggestions would only make everything worse.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ferb," Isabella said slowly, head craned up at the structure towering above them. "Please tell me that that is not the Eiffel Tower. _Please_ tell me we're not in Paris."

"It bears an uncanny resemblance to a monochrome Tokyo Tower," Ferb said.

"Really?!" Isabella exclaimed hopefully, only for a pair of people in berets eating baguettes to pass by, remarking on the awed teenage tourists dismissively.

In French.

Isabella let out a strangled scream of despair.

She did _not_ agree to this, and frankly, Ferb didn't either.

They did, however, agree to enter a pod being launched by a catapult controlled by Phineas, though.

See, a few minutes earlier, Phineas proclaimed that their big fun activity for the day would be a massive scavenger hunt. Their means of transportation would be rocket-pods that would bring them back to Danville when enough time had elapsed.

Phineas launched Buford and Baljeet all the way to Germany, then Katie and Ginger to Egypt, and so on, and so forth, until the only ones left were himself, Ferb, and Isabella.

Ferb had been completely ready to step back and let the other two be the last pair. Barring that, he supposed the three of them could find some way to fit in the two-seat rocket pod.

But then Phineas declared that he would stay in the backyard, with the super-computer that controlled all the pods, to ensure that everyone made it back okay. Smiling, he sent Isabella and Ferb off to search for the items on their list.

And then they landed in Paris, France, right under the Eiffel Tower.

Phineas _tricked them._

Isabella didn't even know Phineas was sneaky enough to pull that off!

(He wasn't. Credit for the plan could be attributed solely to Vanessa.)

Ferb, however, just shrugged and pulled out their list of items, handing them to her to read.

It took about two seconds for Isabella to start mentally screaming.

"A crêpe sucrée, crème brûlé, flowers from under the Eiffel Tower, fancy cheese, wear a beret, peruse the galleries…!" Isabella read, before screaming out loud. "HE _HEARD_ ME SINGING?! AND STILL DIDN'T GET THAT I WANTED TO DATE HIM!?"

Ferb gave her a confused look.

"These are, uh, all things I said I wanted to do with him, that time we went around the world. You know, with the baguette boat?" she paused, continuing only when Ferb nodded. "Things I wanted to do with him, _romantically_ , that he apparently _overheard."_

She could suddenly feel herself start dying inside.

"Oh goodness, he _heard me_."

Isabella wasn't sure whether she wanted to throttle little ten year old Phineas or bury herself in the ground, but she sure felt like screaming. Again.

The only thing that prevented her from doing so (again) was the sudden sound of machinery tinkering she knew so well.

Looking over, she saw that Ferb had started messing with the rocket pod that sent them there in the first place.

"Ferb?"

He lifted his pointer finger in response, a silent request for her to be patient. So, she waited, and before she knew it, he had managed to get the engine running and the controls going.

"Let's go," Ferb said, offering his hand to her so she could climb in.

Isabella blushed as she took his hand without thinking, buckling up in the seat next to him.

It was only after they managed to get airborne and moving that Isabella recovered enough to ask, "...Ferb, where are we going?"

Ferb, having to keep his focus on navigating the sky, pointed at a GPS embedded in the control panel. When Isabella looked closer, he was pointing very specifically at Danville.

"Huh? W-we're...leaving?" Isabella asked, before panicking. Did Ferb hate the idea of dating her so much that he was basically insta-leaving to avoid it?!

But, thankfully for her anxiety, Ferb just said, "Paris seems to be filled with bad memories."

Isabella blinked once. Then twice.

Then something seemed to click in her head.

"Wait. Is it because of… me screaming about my experience here with Phineas?"

It was only thanks to Isabella staring incessantly at him that she caught his short nod.

"W-well, it's, um, thanks!" Isabella said, a shy smile appearing on her face. "But, well… it's not like I _hate_ Paris."

Ferb didn't answer, but Isabella could tell he was listening intently.

"It's not like we have the chance to visit Paris every day! We should sit back and enjoy it!" Isabella exclaimed, before reeling herself back in, because oh goodness, trying to tour Paris with her crush again could end so badly. "And besides! We can't just give up on the scavenger hunt, even if it _is_ an embarrassing reminder of my dark past! Imagine what the others would say!"

Ferb paused to consider this, probably, before swerving the rocket pod around.

"So, what should we go first?" Ferb asked, making Isabella grin.

"Definitely the snacks," Isabella answered.

One stop at a cafe later, and Isabella was holding a bag full of baked delicacies, the mouthwatering scent filling the vehicle.

"Oh, this is so _good!_ " Isabella exclaimed, stuffing her face with item one on their list. "Ferb, you need to try some!"

Ferb agreed, but also, he needed to keep his focus on steering, lest they crash into the art gallery they were going to next.

Ferb, while tempted, was too good of a driver to try snacking with one hand. So, instead, he asked Isabella to hand him something.

Isabella was flustered, obviously. His mouth accidentally brushed against her fingers when she held out the crêpe to him. Afterwards, he licked the extra sugar and cream off his lips.

She hadn't quite realized that she was going on a very long date with Ferb yet, but rest assured, she would absolutely freak out when she did.

* * *

Phineas kind of felt like a supervillain. He was seated in front of a supercomputer with lots of doodads and buttons, his pet relaxed on his lap as he overlooked the progression of his latest scheme.

Except, of course, that a friend on the internet came up with everything, the plan was romance-related instead of like, blowing up the world or something, and, of course, Perry was not a cat, but a platypus.

"I feel like you've been hanging around more lately," Phineas said to his monotreme friend. "Too bad Candace isn't around to see it."

Perry gurgled in response.

It was a perfect moment of peace and quiet, which was why it promptly shattered when Phineas' phone went off.

Phineas picked up the phone, saying a polite "hello?" when-

"PHINEAS WHERE ARE YOU," Candace screamed.

"Hi Candace! I'm at home with Perry-"

"Okay. Okay," Candace said, sounding frazzled and panicked. "Please explain why the giant magnet thing I made with my boss has Buford and Baljeet in a rocket thing attached to it."

"Oh, we sent them to Germany for a scavenger hunt," Phineas answered. "Why did you make a giant magnet thing?"

"I. I don't know," Candace said. "But Buford and Baljeet are stuck to it."

"Tell them to pull the big red lever in their control panel."

"Okay," and Phineas heard her relay those instructions to the pair, before returning to the phone. "What does that do?"

Phineas could not answer, because then, the sound of super rocket boosters drowned out all other noise. Then he heard Candace go, "HEY!? YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE THE MAGNET WITH YOU?!" and then some pharmacist's voice went "CURSE YOU, RANDOM TEENAGERS!"

"Huh, they must be having fun," Phineas said, before hanging up.

* * *

By the way, in the time it took for them to do that, Isabella and Ferb got kicked out of the library.

(Technically, it was just Isabella who got kicked out, but Ferb left in solidarity with his friend.)

See, it took one and a half floors, three exhibits, and four interesting facts from Ferb for Isabella to realize, _leaping lizards_ , the thing she was participating in was exceedingly similar to a date.

Yes, she was _aware_ that Phineas had been attempting to do such a thing, but that didn't mean she thought Ferb would _cooperate_.

But, well, he got a map of the museum and pointed out certain interesting exhibits to her. He listened to her gush about how pretty the paintings looked, told her some fun facts about artists, and followed after her as she flitted from piece to piece.

Isabella realized it when, in her excitement, she grabbed at his sleeve with one hand, pointing at another painting with the other. With her hand in the crook of his elbow and his soft smile as he prepared to follow her, it began to look as if they were on a date.

Isabella did not take this realization well, by the way. Also, it turned out that museums banning yelling was a worldwide thing, so, again, kicked out.

Afterwards, they just got back in the rocket pod and went to check off the last bits on their list.

Fancy cheese was technically covered by one of the baked goods they had gotten earlier, and for some reason, there was a beret in the glove compartment, so, there was only getting flowers from the Eiffel Tower left.

"We really should have gone after the flowers first, huh…" Isabella said, munching on a cheese croissant.

Ferb shrugged in response, creating a bit of a stretch of silence.

And normally, this would be fine, except Isabella just realized they were kinda maybe sorta-ish on a date.

So, she spoke up.

"Did… did you like being in Paris, Ferb?" she asked shyly.

Another shrug.

"Oh," Isabella said flatly. "...I liked it."

Ferb had to focus on piloting, so he kept his eyes ahead. Isabella didn't even know if he was listening, but she just kinda started rambling.

"I mean, this bakery is _really_ good. And I liked the paintings. I kinda wanted to check out some of Paris' monuments, but they're not on the list. It would be nice to go again, without the… list."

' _Good job, that was terrible!'_ a voice exclaimed in Isabella's mind.

' _Shut up, pharmacist!'_

"...that's a relief."

"Huh?" Isabella asked, Ferb's quiet voice bringing her back to the present by force.

"I thought that you'd be… sad, remembering your last time here," Ferb admitted.

"Eh?"

Ferb took one hand off the steering wheel to gesture at the interior of the rocket pod, as if saying, ' _why else would I fix this up?'_

"O-oh! You didn't… you didn't have to!" Isabella exclaimed. "I mean… I lov- _liked_ spending time with you. I didn't even remember that stuff." She took in a deep breath to calm down her fluttering heart. "Thank you."

Ferb paused for a while. Isabella didn't think he was going to respond, but then…

"You're not the only one with bad memories of this place."

"...huh?"

Ferb didn't clarify and didn't seem like he was going to, forcing Isabella to think back on that trip years ago. When they were in Paris, the excitement of being with Phineas and ensuring disappointment took up most of her focus, but she vaguely remembered the group they were in.

Obviously, there was Phineas and Ferb, then her, Candace, Buford, and Baljeet, but… wasn't there someone else?

She suddenly remembered the feeling of snapping a pencil in two.

Phineas had said something to Ferb, something about how he thought a boy, a girl alone in the city of love was bound to make romance happen, infuriating Isabella. That required a girl that wasn't Isabella herself or Ferb's sister. And the more she thought about it, she kinda remembered a girl like that.

"That girl!" Isabella exclaimed with a snap of her fingers, before her voice became doubtful. "Uh, what was her name again? The one that Candace is friends with, um, Valer….ie? Vicky? Vuh…."

"Vanessa."

"Oh," Isabella said, startled by his voice. "Vanessa… um… what happened with her?"

Isabella regretted her question the moment she asked it, not knowing if Ferb was okay with her knowing, or if he would even answer.

She was amazed when she heard Ferb speak up once again.

"Vanessa was talking about her troubles with her father. I gave her advice, so they reconciled and went off," Ferb said.

His voice seemed calm, but…

"That seems like a good thing, right? You helped her."

The Eiffel Tower appeared in their view once again, causing Ferb to sigh.

"I was trying to woo her," he added. "She was… my first crush."

Isabella's eyes widened.

"...oh," she said quietly.

They were silent as they kept going, the Eiffel Tower growing closer by the second.

"So much for the city of love," Isabella said with a bitter laugh. "Seems to me like it was just full of heartbreak for the two of us."

She sighed and nibbled on her croissant half-heartedly.

"No."

Isabella looked to Ferb, but he lifted one finger in response. She waited patiently as he parked the rocket pod, before he turned to her and continued.

"I had fun with you today," Ferb told her with a small smile. "That has to make up for at least some of the pain we felt, right?"

Isabella was a hundred percent staring, still holding her croissant, and still had some crumbs on her face, by the way, so she was totally unprepared for that sort of line with that sort of smile from Ferb.

Blushing bright red, she almost choked and died to a baked good.

Thankfully, she didn't, but that didn't stop Ferb from being concerned for her. So, instead of going to grab the flowers together, Ferb went to get the flowers himself, along with some water for Isabella.

The moment he wasn't looking, Isabella opened the glove compartment and grabbed the beret. She pressed it over her mouth as she screamed, because pining for one of your best friends was terrible and difficult and _awful_.

Of course, Ferb had no idea, because the moment he approached the rocket pod, she covered up her crime by putting on the hat and pretending she had done absolutely nothing in his absence.

His thumbs-up at her new accessory should not have sent her into a coughing fit, but it did anyways. Thankfully he had the water on-hand.

' _It's gonna be a_ _long_ _ride home…'_ Isabella thought as she drained the contents of the water bottle he gave her.

* * *

"Oh, you're back early! How was it?" Phineas asked as Isabella and Ferb exited the rocket pod onto the backyard.

Isabella and Ferb exchanged a glance. Ferb gestured at Phineas, then to Isabella, but Isabella shook her head. Then, she pointed at Ferb insistently.

Phineas had no idea what that meant, but Ferb walked over to him and dragged him to the living room.

"Well? Did your date go well?" Phineas asked.

Ferb gave him an exasperated expression.

"What? She likes you! I know it! Just trust me!"

Ferb took in a deep breath, before saying, in a very, _very_ tired tone, " _Phineas…"_

"Listen, you just gotta believe me! If you ask her out, then she's obviously gonna say yes!"

"..."

"Don't give me that look! It's not gonna be a platonic thing! She _likes_ you!"

"..."

"I don't understand how you aren't seeing this!" Phineas exclaimed in frustration. "She obviously likes you! Ferb!"

Ferb's expression remained unmovable.

"Just…! Just ask her! Trust me! Please! For my sanity!"

"...if I do, will you stop with these crazy schemes?"

"Yes," Phineas said, completely meaning it. Because, if Ferb asked her out, they would obviously start dating and his assistance would no longer be necessary.

Ferb sighed, before going, "alright."

He then went back into the backyard, where Isabella was still waiting for her turn to go ' _Phineas what the heck are you doing.'_

"Isabella. Would you like to go grab a smoothie with me tomorrow?"

Isabella's jaw dropped.

Phineas was stunned.

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HE ASKED HER OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!_

* * *

Vanessa's jaw dropped too.

* * *

**Bonus:**

"Huh, you worked for Dr. D too, Buford?" Candace asked.

"Yeah, it only lasted one day, though," Buford answered.

"WILL EITHER OF YOU TWO HELP?!" Baljeet screamed as he and Doofenshmirtz tried in vain to pry the rocket pod from the magnet, only for the crowbar to get stuck too.


	9. Chapter 9

" _Phineas,_ " Ferb said exasperatedly, not for the first time.

"What? I'm helping you pick out your clothes," Phineas said.

Ferb glared at him, then at the shirt Phineas was holding up.

The shirt with " **I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH ISABELLA GARCIA-SHAPIRO"** printed on it in a truly massive font.

Slowly, Ferb began to shake his head.

He had the feeling it would be a long day.

And it was only seven in the morning, because Phineas Flynn was an absolute madman.

* * *

"You want to borrow the car?" Linda asked at the breakfast table.

Ferb nodded, while Phineas had the smuggest grin possible as he sang, "Ferb's taking Isabella out today!"

Candace sent Phineas a _Look_ that managed to ask both "why do I have the feeling you have something to do with this" and "what have you _done_ " at the same time.

Phineas, however, missed this, as he was too giddy over his ship finally happening.

"Oh, that's nice," Lawrence said. "Where you off to, sport?"

"The Shooting Star Milkshake Bar," Ferb answered.

"Is it new? I haven't heard of a place like that…" Linda said.

"It's in space," Candace said, a tired expression on her face as she took a sip of coffee.

Linda let out a hearty laugh.

"Good one, Candace!"

Candace just rolled her eyes and grumbled in response, which, somehow, was an improvement over her busting urges.

Breakfast went on in that calm sort of way, until Candace got up to go to work.

The moment she got there, she got roped into making a giant laser thing as Norm the giant robot made them lemonade.

(She didn't understand why her boss had a giant robot, but was not about to ask. She did not want to hear any backstories.)

"So, uh, sir, what exactly is this?" Candace asked as she tried to make sense of the unlabelled blueprint.

"It's the Illiterate-inator!" Doof exclaimed proudly, having already cobbled together a body for the giant laser.

"But why," Candace asked.

"Oh, it all started when-"

Clanking noises drowned out a lot of the words as he added the shooty bit.

"-Vanessa got herself an internship at the-"

Then it was loud blowtorch noises.

"- but she spends so much time on that one weird site! It's worrying me as a father!"

"...okay," Candace said, having no idea what was happening. "But wait, doesn't her internship need her to read files and stuff?"

Doof paused, his hammer stilling over the internal mechanisms.

"Hm. I hadn't thought of that," he said. "Oh well, let's make it so that everyone _but_ Vanessa is illiterate! That way, no one can use the site, and she'll get bored!"

"DR D NO-!" Candace exclaimed.

He lifted his hammer over his head to get back to work, only for Candace to tackle him into stopping.

The hammer fell down to the floor, accidentally bouncing into the activation button, firing a beam off into the distance.

* * *

Isabella was kind of nervous as she walked over to the Flynn-Fletcher house, but not enough to keep her from skipping and humming happily.

Like, sure, okay, she was deeply anxious about everything blowing up in her face like her crush on Phineas did, but also, not even the most anxious of people could deny that he had asked her out after the two of them spent a day together in _Paris_ , the city of _love_.

Yeah, not even teenage Candace in her worst teenage Jeremy-related panic could think that wasn't a sign of interest.

She rang the doorbell, adjusting her bow as she waited.

She had dressed up a bit with a new pleated pink skirt and white shirt, but not too much. Isabella absolutely refused to be obsessed with romancing Ferb like she had been with his brother.

Not that she really needed to try that hard, considering that he was the one to ask her out.

Just before the door opened, a giant laser hit her and the house.

Not that she noticed, because she got distracted by the sight that greeted her.

"Oh. Hi," she said flatly, her eyes going up and down Ferb's body.

"I'm so sorry," were the first words out of Ferb's mouth.

"Eh."

Ferb gestured to his outfit, then jerked his thumb over his shoulder, where Isabella could see someone peeking out from behind a wall. Though she couldn't see who it was, it was 100% Phineas. She just _knew_.

(The devious cackling was a good indicator though.)

"Are… are you saying that Phineas chose your outfit?" Isabella asked.

Ferb nodded, though his face was pink and he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Oh, well, it's... different!" Isabella said, making Ferb groan. She hurriedly followed up with, "But it's not _bad_."

Ferb stared at her in confusion.

"I mean, I like the ripped black jeans!" Isabella exclaimed. "Really makes you look like a bad boy rebel type! Suave, you know? And the shirt!"

"Um."

"I like the pattern! It's got an artsy kind of design!"

Ferb looked down at his shirt.

Instead of the giant embarrassing " **I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH ISABELLA GARCIA-SHAPIRO,"** it just looked like a white t-shirt with a pattern of black lines on it.

Ferb decided not to question this, instead, he was just grateful that he wasn't going around wearing that.

So, Ferb directed her to the red stationwagon in the driveway, spinning the borrowed car keys around on his finger.

Isabella laughed, saying that all it would take for him to complete the bad boy look was a leather jacket and some sunglasses.

Ferb, not one to disappoint, went back inside for a moment, before coming back with a pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket.

Isabella was reduced to a fit of giggles as she got into the car with him, before they blasted off. Literally.

(Yeah, Phineas and Ferb gave their mom's car rocket boosters while fixing it once. She mistook rocket boosting for some sort of new, gas-saving technology and never found out.)

Isabella's laughter quickly gave way to awed cheering as they left orbit.

"Wow… no matter how many times we come up here, this sight never gets old!" she exclaimed, face pressed to the window as stars zoomed past.

Ferb felt happy she was enjoying their trip so far.

So, naturally, he decided to start doing aerial stunts.

The logic was something about making the trip as fun as possible, but it was probably mostly to show off.

Thankfully, Isabella didn't get nauseous easily. So, when the car sped up, corkscrewed around a star, and twisted around Mars, well, it was one big roller coaster to her.

It was a miracle they landed at the Shooting Star Milkshake Bar with not even a scratch on the car's hood, but Isabella knew Ferb had experience pulling off miracles.

Apparently, this applied to vertigo too. When they landed, Isabella was woozy, dizzy, and wasn't sure where her stomach went, but all in a good way. Still, this prevented her from standing up straight without something to hold on to.

Ferb obviously noticed how she was holding onto the dashboard, so he grabbed her a paper bag.

"Oh, no. I'm not gonna throw up, I'm fine!" Isabella said quickly.

Ferb nodded, tossing the paper bag back in the bag. Then he unbuckled himself and got out of the car.

Isabella made to follow him, but she was struggling with locating the buckle and also the weight of her entire body. She managed to escape the seatbelt's grasp just as her door opened.

"Huh?"

Ferb silently offered her a hand, stunning her.

"I, um…"

Nervously, she let him help her up and out of the car, closing the door behind her.

"Thanks," Isabella said, moving to pull her hand back. But Ferb wouldn't let go. "Um?! Ferb?"

Several things happened at once just then.

First, Ferb locked the car with the car keys in one hand. Then, in one fluid motion, he let go of her hand to loop his other arm around her waist, pressing Isabella's body against his.

Isabella let out a squeak of shock as the car locks clicked.

"Just until you regain your balance," Ferb told her.

Isabella was too flustered to protest and enjoyed it too much to push away.

Ferb, however, was mostly focused on helping Isabella walk. It was like a firefighter carrying someone to safety, except with much lower stakes.

The aliens around them, however, immediately assumed they were on a date.

Obviously.

The two of them got to their table without a fuss, a literal four-eyed purple alien handing them the menus.

"Thank you very much, Ggobnorcjih," Ferb said, not even stumbling on the pronounciation. The milkshake bartender replied with a smile, a tip of a hat, and a "no prob, boss!"

There was just one problem, though.

"Ferb? I can't read this," Isabella said sheepishly.

Ferb examined his menu closely, before determining the problem.

He waved Ggobnorcjih over, this time specifying the _English_ menus.

Fortunately, just before Ggobnorcjih came back, Ferb and Isabella got hit by another laser that let them read.

The explanation why, well. Five minutes ago, Candace managed to win the struggle for the Inator, forcing Doof to acquiesce to her demands. And she demanded that he undo whatever the heck he did.

"Dr. D, you seriously didn't have to make a whole new Inator," Candace said as she overlooked Doof's creation of a reversal switch. "There is a much easier way of keeping Vanessa away from that weird site or whatever."

"There is?" Doof asked.

"Yeah, you could just-" and Candace paused, because wait, no, Vanessa was her friend. She couldn't just give Vanessa's dad this info. "Hey, focus on undoing what you did! I want to see those hands moving! Chop chop, Dr. D!"

"Yes ma'am!" Doof answered, speeding up his progress.

He cobbled together a massive undo button just in time for Ferb and Isabella to read their new menus.

Of course, this meant that Isabella was now capable of perceiving Ferb's shirt as words, rather than a series of random lines. With his leather jacket draped over the back of his chair, it was the perfect opportunity to see the wording-

Had Ferb, quintessential gentleman that he was, not placed his napkin at his shirt collar to prevent stains, blocking out just enough letters to avoid the message being legible.

"You know, it's kinda funny," Isabella said as she looked through the menu. "You've got this dapper neckerchief thing paired with a t-shirt."

"Actually, I think it's more similar to a jabot," Ferb replied.

Isabella burst into laughter again, because the word jabot was incredibly funny to her.

(Had Ginger been there, she would have elbowed Isabella with a "it's not _that_ funny." But, of course, Ginger was _not_ there. That was the entire _point_ of a date.)

Ferb didn't mind that Isabella was just laughing. In fact, he had the slightest hint of a smile on his face as he picked out a milkshake.

By the time Isabella calmed down, Ggobnorcjih was back to take their order.

Ferb was ready to order, but, of course, Isabella had been too distracted by jabots to choose. So, she asked what Ggobnorcjih thought.

His answer?

"Our Couple's Choco Bananza is half off today!"

Ferb was completely stunned and confused by this suggestion, because as far as he knew, this was a platonic outing with a friend for pragmatic reasons, plus, there was no way Isabella liked him.

However, his way of expressing this was a slight crease in his brow, which neither Ggobnorcjih nor Isabella noticed.

Instead, Isabella looked over at Ferb with a pleading expression and went, "um, do you… want that?"

At Ferb's continued confused stare, Isabella nervously added, "well, um, it sounds kinda good but it's not like we _have_ to or, um, you know…"

Isabella meant this as, well, " _this might be too much for a first (second?) date so like it's your call."_

Ferb, however, interpreted this as " _listen, I'm just as confused as you are, but this sounds like it tastes good and no one we know is around to misunderstand and think we're dating so there's no harm in it, right?"_

So, Ferb ordered the couple's milkshake.

Isabella was delighted, thinking that this was Ferb going, " _it is not too much for a first/second date, my sweet."_

"Thanks," Isabella said as Ggobnorcjih went to make their order, an incurable grin on her face. Ferb replied with a smile and a shrug to say "no problem."

That made Ferb think that the embarrassment was worth it, though he quickly recanted that thought. Why?

Well, it turned out that the Choco Bananza included more than chocolate and bananas, it also came with a set of straws, intertwined and twisted into a heart shape.

"Oh. Um. Okay!" Isabella said, because she didn't expect that either.

Ferb shrugged, before deciding he couldn't be embarrassed if he embraced whatever was happening shamelessly. He just went ahead and started sipping.

Isabella waited, mostly because she would just explode if she sipped from a heart-shaped straw at the same time as Ferb. Ferb took this as platonic politeness, an acknowledgement that, while they were alone, together, in a date-like environment, drinking a milkshake marketed as for couple's with heart straws, that didn't mean there was romance between them. They were just trying to stop Phineas.

Ferb then realized that he never informed Isabella that he had asked her to go with him entirely to stop Phineas.

He pulled away from the milkshake to address her, but just then, Isabella spoke up.

"I'm glad I'm here with you," Isabella said, cheeks rosy as she smiled at him.

Suddenly, Ferb's voice died in his throat.

Isabella leaned forward and, without thinking, Ferb mirrored the action. She lifted one hand up to the side of her mouth as she whispered, "don't tell the others I said this, but, well, sometimes all of us can be a bit hectic, you know? But… if we're doing one-on-one, I'd choose you. A lot."

Ferb blushed, before forcibly reminding himself that this just meant Isabella thought he was a good friend. A confiant who didn't force her at Phineas.

Which sucked, because Isabella was trying (and failing) to flirt.

Ferb replied by miming zipping his own mouth shut, locking it, and throwing away the key, making Isabella laugh again.

He was beginning to think that maybe Isabella's laugh was messing with his brain, what with how his stomach was doing loop-de-loops and all.

"Thanks Ferb," Isabella said. "You're reliable. Really reliable."

She took a sip from the milkshake, before exclaiming, "wow! This tastes great!"

Ferb let out a sigh of relief, glad that the topic was changed away from things that were greatly confusing him-

"Haha, it's kind of embarrassing, sharing this milkshake with you..." Isabella admitted, diverting her eyes away shyly. "I don't know how you drank from this heart straw without getting flustered."

For whatever reason, Ferb gulped, adjusting his shirt collar, causing his napkin to fall to the floor.

Panicking, Ferb dove for it, resulting in him smacking his head into the table and landing on the floor. The jolt caused the milkshake to fall over, spilling all over Ferb.

"Are you okay?!" Isabella asked hurriedly.

' _This can't get worse,'_ Ferb thought, before the table fell over with a huge crash, causing everyone's eyes to be drawn towards them. Even some eyeless aliens were paying attention.

' _Great. Just great. Why.'_

* * *

The ride back was awkward, but mostly because Isabella could tell Ferb was embarrassed about what had happened and she wasn't sure if starting a conversation would help or not.

Regardless, around the time they started re-entering earth's atmosphere, Isabella spoke up.

"Oh… if… if we went to the washroom earlier, we might have been able to save your shirt…" Isabella said blandly.

"It's fine. I hated it anyways," Ferb said honestly.

"Is your head okay?"

Ferb nodded.

"Don't be afraid to ask for help! If you're hurt we should go to the-"

Without looking away from where he was driving, Ferb took off a head-shaped safety helmet with one hand and showed it to her.

"Ah. Of course you guys are always thinking of safety first," Isabella said.

Ferb nodded once again.

There was a stretch of silence as Ferb handled, well, the car hurtling towards the ground surrounded by flames with the same exasperation one felt towards accidentally hitting the curb while parking, but he handled it as well as you'd expect.

He managed to park safely and effectively in the driveway, the two of them exiting the car without any trouble.

Ferb was willing to say goodbye and just part ways then and there, but then Isabella surprised him.

"I… I had fun! Thank you for inviting me out!" Isabella exclaimed, before grabbing the lapels of Ferb's jacket. She yanked him down roughly and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"G-guh-?!"

"See you!"

The kiss ended as quickly as it started, and before Ferb could make sense of what was happening, Isabella had already turned on her heel and ran for her house.

Ferb was left alone in the driveway, his sunglasses slipping off his face. He was blushing and incredibly confused as he gingerly touched the cheek she had kissed.

It was a soft, tender moment...

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA I KNEW IT I KNEW IT YES I _**KNEW**_ IT!"

...that was ruined by Phineas cackling behind the fence.

With a sigh, Ferb went to go burn his shirt.

* * *

"Hm," Vanessa looked upon the forums and grinned.

' **My crush asked me out! And I think it went well!'** _posted by bow-buff_

' **THEY'RE DATING THEy'RE DATING THEY'RE DATING THEY'RE DATING'** _posted by flyfletchboy1_

"My work here is done," Vanessa said proudly, completely unaware that she would be proven wrong in less than twenty-four hours.


	10. Chapter 10

"Okay, okay, I want the brass players _over there_ ," Phineas said, using light sticks to guide people like airport workers would airplanes. "Stacy, bring Perry to the special platform!"

"Yeah, alright, but what's happening?" Stacy asked as she carried Perry over.

"THE CELEBRATION OF THE CULMINATION OF MY EVERY HOPE AND DREAM," Phineas answered.

"Okay," Stacy said, still confused as she navigated the giant stage in Phineas' backyard. She had to pass by the brass section, the string section, the woodwinds, and backup singers and… well, lots of people, basically. Lots of people who were just as confused as she was.

"Hey Phineas, we're here!"

And then Stacy looked away from Perry and his platform to see…

"You called Love Händel over?"

"Of course!" Phineas exclaimed.

That was when Lawrence opened the door to the backyard to take out the trash.

He took in the giant stage in her backyard, the orchestra, Stacy, Perry, Love Händel, the Fireside Girls minus Isabella with microphones, Buford hanging from the tree in a cupid costume, and Baljeet in the brass section, and asked,

"Oh, hello there everybody. Something special going on?"

"Giant celebration," Phineas answered.

Lawrence just accepted this, because that was just what happened in his own backyard. He took out the trash and left.

"Giant celebration of what, though?" Buford asked.

"Ferb and Isabella got together!" Phineas announced happily.

Buford, completely, totally done with this already, just grabbed Baljeet and left.

"Wait, what? Huh?" Ginger asked, because the idea was clearly faulty.

"Isn't Isabella the one with the crush on you?" Swampy asked.

"No," Phineas answered. "She has a crush on Ferb. And they got together yesterday!"

Swampy looked to Danny, who looked to Bobbi, who shrugged in confusion.

"What? No we didn't."

"Yes they did," Phineas replied without thinking. "What are you talking about, Ferb?"

And then he did a double take.

"Ferb!? Why are you here?!"

Ferb replied with confusion, then gesturing to the lawn and jabbing his thumb at himself, in a ' _this is my backyard too?'_ sort of way.

In anticipation of ensuing awkwardness, people started just up and leaving.

In a few moments, the only ones left were Phineas, Ferb, and also Stacy and Perry, who were watching with popcorn.

"Don't you have agent things to be doing?" Stacy asked Perry quietly, though Phineas and Ferb were too preoccupied to be noticing them.

Perry showed her his wristwatch, displaying footage of Candace smacking a giant killer fanblade robot into submission with a broom while Doof was cowering in the corner.

"Oh, Candace is handling everything," Stacy realized, Perry nodding in confirmation.

" _Phineas…_ "

"Don't you ' _Phineas'_ me! You two were on a _date!_ "

Ferb pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"Are you seriously going to keep denying that you're dating?! Really!? After I organized the party?!"

Ferb switched from pinching his nose to massaging his temples.

"Ferb. Ferb no. Ferb _no._ Why?! How?!" Phineas screamed in increasing horror.

He handed his light sticks to Stacy as he pulled out his phone.

Turning on auto-voice-to-text mode, Phineas went "HELP PLEASE MY BROTHER IS STUBBORN AND BAD AT ADMITTING HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!"

Ferb was stunned by that, only to realize what was happening.

He tackled his brother to the ground, grabbing at the phone in a panic.

"Man, you guys never fail to entertain," Stacy said, grabbing another handful of popcorn.

Perry let out a chatter of agreement.

* * *

"...what?" Vanessa said as she read the screen.

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _DUDE PLEASE JUST ADMIT YOU'RE DATING_

**flyfletchboy1:** _I will do no such thing!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _BUT YOU WENT ON A DATE_

**flyfletchboy1:** _That's your assumption!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _Man, you guys never fail to entertain._

**flyfletchboy1:** _Ctrtrtrtrtrtrtr._

**flyfletchboy1:** _ARE YOU KIDDING ME. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _I'm telling you! You're mistaken! She doesn't have a crush on me!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _DUDE_

**Ace-stace:** _FYI, for those who are confused, flyfletchboy1 and his brother are arguing over a phone with speech-to-text enabled._

* * *

"Ohhhh, that makes sense," Vanessa said.

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _Anyways. Stop taking advice from the internet! Stop doing anything. She does not have a crush on me!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _SHE KISSED YOU. ON THE MOUTH. TWICE._

**flyfletchboy1:** _She told you outright that those were for the sake of her Fireside girl patches!_

**flyfletchboy1:** _WHY WOULD THE FIRESIDE GIRLS HAVE A FIRST KISS PATCH._

**flyfletchboy1:** _Why would they have a rodeo clown patch?_

**QTKT:** _okay you're not wrong about that but we don't have a first kiss patch?_

* * *

Vanessa audibly _gasped._

(Stacy did too, because Phineas' phone just _blurted that out.)_

And then other Fireside Girls joined in.

* * *

**Hollmark:** _there! are! no! patches! for! that!?_

**fetchengretchen:** _Do you want me to send you the entire list of patches we can get? Because there is no First Kiss Patch?_

**flyfletchboy1:** _Okay, sure, she made up an excuse to kiss a guy. Still does not mean she likes me._

**flyfletchboy1:** _WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION IS THERE_

* * *

It was then that Vanessa realized something.

* * *

**punkprincess:** _so, it's not that you don't have a crush on her. she just doesn't have a crush on YOU_

**punkprincess:** _so… you got some feelings you want to confess here?_

* * *

There was a moment of stillness in the backyard, the brothers' brawl having come to a stop for a moment.

Ferb had frozen completely at punk-princess's messages, his body stuck with one arm holding the phone above Phineas' head, the other shoving Phineas away by the head.

"...bro? Are you okay?" Phineas asked, unable to see Ferb from his vantage point.

"Oh my gosh," Stacy said, grinning at Perry. Perry grabbed more popcorn.

Because Ferb was stunned. His eyes were wide open, his mouth was agape, and, most damningly of all-

He was blushing his face off.

"Oh no," Ferb said softly, before knowing what he had to do.

* * *

The page crashed.

Vanessa's eyes widened with horror as she tried to reload it, only for four cruel words to greet her.

' _ **flyfletchboy1 deleted this topic.'**_

"You've got to be kidding me…!"

She was going to _scream_ if the drama wasn't resolved soon.

Then she got an idea.

Pulling out her phone, she called her dad.

"Hey dad," she greeted him.

For some reason she heard the sound of evil robots, broom smacking, and a whirling fan, but that wasn't important.

"I think I got a good machine for you!" Vanessa exclaimed.

* * *

"Dr. D what are you doing?!" Candace screamed as her boss got out of the corner. That moment of distraction was a critical error, as the killer fan robot cut her broom in half.

"Vanessa gave me an idea for a new Inator!" Doof exclaimed, already grabbing different bits and pieces.

"ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?!" Candace demanded, before screaming as the giant evil fan robot started chasing her.

Doof did not notice the wacky chase scene behind him as he assembled the Inator. He kept turning around to grab things when Candace and the killer robot ran by him, then he realized he was missing important components.

So, he went ahead and placed a same-day delivery order for what he needed.

That was when Perry got an alert from his wristwatch.

"Agent P, we've gotten a report that Doofenshmirtz has just put an order on hundreds of Valentine's Day cards and laser pointers," Major Monogram said. "A suspicious order for someone who hasn't had a successful date in years. Plus, it's the middle of summer and all…"

"Wait, hold on, why do you know that my dad hasn't had a successful date in years? Why are you even monitoring that?!" Vanessa demanded.

"We don't," Major Monogram said. "I was just assuming… you know, from his… everything."

"..."

"But hey, I was right!"

Then there was the sound of someone throwing a cup of coffee onto the floor.

"My coffee!"

"Oops. I _assumed_ that you don't need more coffee. You know, from your everything."

"Sir," Carl piped in. "You deserved that one."

"Quiet you!"

Perry sighed, before starting to scuttle away from the scene to make an exit.

Thankfully, Phineas and Ferb weren't in a position to notice. Ferb was facedown in the grass wondering what his life had come to, while Phineas was calling people to see if he could put together a musical celebration to Ferb realizing his feelings for Isabella.

Stacy, however, did notice. And she said something that made Perry pause.

"Oh, you're off? But wait, isn't Candace working for your nemesis dude thing?" Stacy asked.

Perry froze, before giving her a nod.

"And you're… not supposed to expose your identity to your owners," Stacy glanced over at the brothers, confirming that they weren't even listening.

Perry started to sweat as he mulled over the conundrum. This went on for about a minute, before he sat back down next to Stacy and grabbed more popcorn.

He called someone else to replace him, for now.

* * *

"Finally, it's working! Vanessa will be so proud!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, cackling in a very evil-sounding way as he beheld his creation.

Candace was not able to behold his creation, as she was cowering in the corner as a killer robot with very sharp fan blades for hands was cornering her. It was approaching slowly in the most ominous way possible, because that's how killer robots were.

And then someone unexpected popped up, destroying the fan robot by opening a door too hard and smashing it into a wall.

"Hi guys! I have returned with some tasty sweets!" Norm exclaimed.

"NORM YOU'RE THE BEST!" Candace cried out in tearful gratitude, hugging Norm's metal chest.

"I appreciate you as well, Candace!" Norm replied, patting Candace on the back.

"Oh, you're back early, Norm," Doof said. "Did something happen at your surfing lesson?"

Norm thought back...

* * *

"I'm sorry, Norm, but I don't think we have a surfboard big enough for you," Linda said sadly.

"Never fear, I can turn into a boat!" Norm exclaimed.

Linda stared at him in confusion, before gently saying, "Norm, honey, I don't think that counts as surfing."

And then Norm frowned.

* * *

"Nothing in particular!" Norm lied.

And then there was a knock on Doof's open door.

"Hey," Monty Monogram greeted the three, pulling out his O.W.C.A. badge. "I'm here to evaluate the evilness of your current suspicious invention."

"Huh? What happened to Pe-"

"The usual guy is busy right now," Monty said quickly, cutting Doof off in the middle of his question. "You don't mind, right, Dr. D?"

"Well, no…" Doof said slowly. "Alright, come in. I'll get you some snacks. The Inator is over by the window."

Doof went to get all the good snacks he had to bribe the guy into giving him a good score, leaving Candace and Norm and Monty alone in the living room.

"Aren't you Vanessa's boyfriend?" Candace asked.

"Uh, yeah, but… you haven't told her dad, right?" Monty replied.

"My lips are sealed."

"Even though I can't close my mouth, I can assure you that I won't be telling dad either!" Norm added.

* * *

"Hey guys, what's up with the giant stage?" Isabella asked as she walked into the Flynn-Fletcher backyard. "And why is Ferb on the grass? Where's Phineas?"

"Long story," Stacy said, still eating popcorn with Perry. They were down to the last little kernels in the bag, sadly.

Isabella knelt to give Perry some head scritches, making Perry chatter in contentment.

And then Phineas burst from the living room, blasting out notes on a tuba.

" _What is happening,"_ Isabella asked Stacy urgently.

Stacy just shrugged in response.

* * *

"So, what exactly is the purpose of this machine?" Monty asked, holding a pen and clipboard.

"Well, it all started when-"

"It's supposed to make people confess their love," Candace interjected, refusing to let backstories happen.

Monty jotted down a few notes.

"And that?" Monty pointed his pen over at where Norm was sweeping up broken fan robot pieces.

"Uh, I think Norm is basically my boss' son?" Candace offered.

"What? No he's not."

"Yes, yes I am," Norm said.

"Well, there you have it. He's Norm Doofenshmirtz."

"Now see here, I did _not_ agree to this-!"

"I meant the broken robot," Monty said.

"Oh, that was supposed to be a fan to cool down people in the heat," Doof answered. "Unfortunately, it went haywire and tried to kill my assistant. Robots, am I right?"

"I take offense to that," Norm said as Monty noted this down too.

"Be nice to your son," Candace ordered.

"Alright, killer robot is obviously pretty bad, but I can excuse that since it was an accident. The giant love-confession laser, however, violates Law 6532 Section A Subsection 7B Article 9: Coerced messages."

"What? That's not a thing. That can't be a thing. You're kidding!" Doof exclaimed, moving to defend his invention.

"Sorry, Dr. D. Rules are rules."

And then he whistled, prompting various animals in hats to carry the laser off. Monty left with them, handing Doof his evaluation before closing the door.

"What just happened," Candace said, staring at the door even after they left.

"Oh, the animal agents are normal," Norm told her.

"What," Candace said again, but Norm had gone back to cleaning up.

Doof was of no help, because he was crying over Monty's note: a frowny face. The worst sign possible.

Candace sighed, before going to cheer up her boss.

"Come on, it's not that bad…! Don't worry, I'm sure that your next invention will be good enough to cancel this out!"

It wasn't working very well.

Actually, Candace was pretty sure she made her boss cry harder.

So, desperately, she said, "hey! I'll tell you how to get Vanessa to stop using that site? Maybe?!"

Unfortunately for Vanessa, this worked.

' _Sorry Vanessa,'_ Candace thought.

* * *

The giant laser was too big to fit in the elevator, so Monty and the animal agents had to take the stairs.

Obviously, by the time they got to the street, they were exhausted, so they took a break. But Monty made the unfortunate mistake of leaning on something as he tried to catch his breath. As he did, he accidentally hit the activation button, and it kinda fired off a beam that hit a car mirror and then bounced off a stop sign and then into the hall of mirrors.

The beam ricochetted off one mirror, then another, then another, over and over until it exited the building, somehow aimed directly at the Flynn-Fletcher house.

This time, due to differences in height and angle, it came at a lower angle, bouncing off of Phineas' tuba to shoot Ferb directly.

He got up from the grass and went over to Isabella.

Phineas' tuba-playing trailed off as he and Stacy were watching in slack-jawed awe. Perry would have been doing the same, if he hadn't accidentally gotten his head stuck in the popcorn bag.

"Isabella."

"Y-yes?" Isabella said, stunned by the serious look in Ferb's eyes.

And then he hugged her.

Because the Confess-your-love-inator never said anything about confessing verbally.

Both Isabella and Ferb were screaming internally and blushing madly during the hug. There was no way they could deny their pounding hearts.

Thankfully, just then, Phineas let out a victorious tuba solo.

"Dude, moment killer, much?" Stacy said flatly as Ferb and Isabella practically jumped away from each other.

"Whoops," Phineas said.

"Th-th-tha-that, um, I-" Isabella stammered, while Ferb went, "sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-"

"I DIDN'T MIND IT!" Isabella screamed, because she was panicking. "I, I, um, Ferb, I-!"

Phineas was about to do romantic tuba noises, but Stacy stopped him.

"I-!"

Ferb felt the butterflies in his stomach go into overdrive as Isabella struggled to get the words out.

"I want to know if you want to go to the movies with me this weekend!" Isabella exclaimed. "There, there's this movie about the zombie alien robots and, um, I thought… maybe you'd want to see it with me?"

There was a moment of silence after she said it, as Ferb froze like a statue.

Then, finally, Ferb gave her a little nod.

"Yes!" Isabella cheered, doing a little fistbump to herself, before kissing Ferb on the cheek again.

Ferb covered up his blushing face with one hand as Isabella continued her happy dance.

Stacy, being a kind and benevolent person, let Phineas have his little victory tuba solo.

The victory tuba solo was very premature, as the moment Isabella left, Ferb turned to Phineas and said, "don't get any ideas. This isn't what you're thinking."

Phineas dropped the tuba in his shock.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

* * *

**flyfletchboy1:** _I am about to lose it. Please someone tell me how to get them to stop._

* * *

Vanessa was about to reply, but someone beat her to the punch. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the username.

* * *

**dr_d:** _See, what I always like to do is make a complicated machine in order to solve trivial problems that could easily be fixed with typical solutions._

**flyfletchboy1:** _Wow! That seems like the perfect solution! Please tell me more!_

* * *

"DAD?!" Vanessa screamed out loud, making her mom check in on her out of concern.

* * *

**dr_d:** _There's usually a few steps to it, like step 1) what do you want this machine to do? Figure out your materials and blueprints first. For this problem, maybe try a pheromone releaser or other ways of making them confront their attraction. Step 2) is building it, then step 3) is monologuing to your captured nemesis until he inevitably escapes and destroys the machine and you wallow in the ashes of your failure._

**flyfletchboy1:** _Is there any way to skip step 3?_

 **dr_d:** _What no that's the most important part._

 **punkprincess:** _dad?! why are you on this forum!?_

**RFOS:** _that's your dad?_

**punkprincess:** _no_

* * *

Vanessa felt like dying of embarrassment, which successfully discouraged her from using the forum as much in the next few days.

This, unfortunately, meant she missed several things, such as the scheme to take over the Tri-State Area and Isabella almost breaking time.

Thankfully, Stacy, though she didn't comment on all of the topics, was keeping up with everything, and, on top of that, actually knew who was who. She would keep track of things for the audience while Vanessa was screaming at work and TV dramas.


	11. Chapter 11

"A long time ago, when the Tri-State Area was first founded, a pair of archaeologists managed to find an ancient carving, covered in the writing of the mystical werebat people. They summoned the werebats by accident, but they didn't have any offerings! In anger, the werebats cursed the entire land, so that all those who resembled those two archaeologists would be unable to show _anyone_ their findings and be believed!"

"That is a very nice story, Phineas," Baljeet said flatly, his arms crossed over his chest. "But I do not see what that has to do with anyone or anything."

"It's simple!" Phineas declared, using a pointer to direct Buford and Baljeet's attention to another image. "I've found the original records by the two, it says that everyone who has blue eyes will be cursed to witness improbable, unlikely things, but every bit of proof will be gone by the time they try to show others! That's why I can't prove Ferb and Isabella like each other to anyone!"

Baljeet and Buford exchanged a pair of confused looks, before they shrugged at each other.

"Therefore, if we break the curse, everyone will be able to see!"

"Alright, I have heard enough, let us be away, Buford," Baljeet said, closing his eyes and raising his arms to make being carried easier.

And then he wasn't carried off.

"Buford? Why are we not leaving?"

"'Cuz I wanna break a curse, obviously," Buford said.

"Buford!" Phineas exclaimed happily.

"Watch it, Pointy, I'm in this for the fun, not the romance."

Baljeet couldn't believe this, actually.

He was, of course, completely stunned when Ferb rolled a strange vehicle with a glass dome onto the lawn.

"This is our werebat-mobile! Ferb helped make it," Phineas said. "We'll be using it to traverse the city in search of clues."

"This will never work!" Baljeet exclaimed, right before Buford threw him into the winged machine.

"Quit complainin'! We're going cursebreaking!" Buford yelled as he and Phineas got in too.

Baljeet recovered just in time for take off, looking out of the glass dome to see Ferb waving goodbye at them from the backyard.

' _Well, that ought to distract Phineas for a few hours,'_ Ferb thought to himself as the flying machine left his sight.

The fact that Buford and Baljeet got dragged along with Phineas on his wild goose chase was an unfortunate but necessary sacrifice.

Ferb then went inside to ask the forum to stop helping Phineas with his mistaken assumptions, and if that didn't work, he was going to delete Phineas' account.

* * *

It was a normal day at work for Candace, considering that she had to explain to her boss that filling Danville with animatronic ugly mascots was an absolutely terrible idea. At the very least, it was normal until a giant bat-robot thing crashed through the wall.

Dr. D screamed. Candace, however, knew that this had Phineas and Ferb written all over it.

Except it wasn't Phineas and Ferb and their friends, it was Phineas, Buford, and Baljeet.

Groaning, Candace banged on the glass dome, impatiently glaring at them.

"Hi Candace!" Phineas exclaimed.

"What's going on?"

"We are…. Curse-breaking?" Baljeet offered uncertainly.

"The only thing you guys have broken is the wall," Candace retorted.

"Eh, it adds a certain pizazz to the room," Buford said.

"Sorry, but I needed to talk to your boss as soon as possible!" Phineas said.

"But _why_ ," Candace asked.

"The ancient werebats left an inscription reading ' _the day an apocathery becomes king of the land, our hatred shall subside.'_ "

Candace stared at Phineas flatly for a good five seconds, before turning to Buford and Baljeet for an actual sensible answer. Buford just shrugged at her.

"We… need to make a pharmacist the ruler of the Tri-State Area?" Baljeet reiterated plainly, except the words were so nonsensical that he wasn't sure if he translated that right either.

"Bingo!" Phineas exclaimed.

"That seems oddly specific," Buford said.

"Hey, I'm not going to question the werebats, and neither should you," Phineas replied with a smile. "Now, where's your boss, Candace?"

Candace looked around, before spotting Dr. D cowering and shaking behind Norm.

"Over there," she said, and Phineas jumped out of the flying bat machine excitedly.

"Hello there, giant pharmacist robot! Would you like to become ruler of the Tri-State Area?"

"Would I?" Norm replied.

"What, no, behind him!" Candace yelled. "The one in a lab coat!"

"Oh."

* * *

That was, of course, when Perry got an alert that suspicious activity was going on at Doofenshmirtz's. And once more, he tried to get Monty to replace him.

"Sorry, I'm a bit busy here!" Monty replied, the sound of explosions and violence and screaming audible even though the communicator.

"Monty! Help!" Vanessa screamed.

"I'm coming!" Monty yelled back, before turning to his communicator. "Don't worry, Agent P! You're O.W.C.A.'s best agent! I'm sure you'll figure something out!"

The communicator cut out, so Perry sighed and just went off.

* * *

"Hurry!" Vanessa screamed as she and Monty ran together.

"Be careful!" Monty said, cradling the precious cargo to his chest, before they got to their destination: the couch.

Monty, using all his crime-fighting skills, managed to sit down without spilling any of the popcorn.

"Just a few seconds to spare!" Vanessa exclaimed in relief as the advertisement for a violent gory action flick ended, letting the cheesy, dorky romance film they were watching resume.

"It's amazing your dad gave us a day off so we could watch the romcom marathon," Vanessa said, snuggling closer to her boyfriend as she grabbed some more popcorn.

"Please, he wanted to watch it himself," Monty retorted.

(On his couch at his own home, Major Monogram sobbed into a tissue at the romance movie.)

* * *

So, Perry had to get over to Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated quickly, as everyone else was busy.

Of course he had a plan for what to do.

Five minutes later, a knock rang out on the door.

Candace went to open it, looking around for whoever knocked on the door. Just as she was about to dismiss it as a joke, Perry cleared his throat.

Candace looked down to see Perry standing on his hind feet, wearing his hat, some glasses with a moustache, and holding a notepad and pen.

"Um," Candace said. "Aren't you…"

Perry began to sweat, wondering if she recognized him.

"Here for Dr. D's evaluation?" Candace finished.

Perry let out a sigh of relief, before nodding.

"Well, come right in," Candace said, before remembering what was happening in the lab.

"And here is our plan for helping you take over the Tri-State Area!" Phineas exclaimed, Norm holding up his whiteboard for him.

Baljeet groaned as Buford raided the fridge.

Doof, on the other hand, was going, "listen to me! I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OVER THE TRI-STATE AREA!"

"I understand that you have a lot of doubts and fears, but I promise, you'll be great!"

"R...really?"

Candace looked from the group, then at Perry, just as Perry started stomping over.

"Oh no," Candace said softly.

The following interaction went as follows:

Perry handed Doof a frowny face note for evil scientist-y actions.

Doof protested, as he wasn't even being evil or doing science. To be honest, the teenagers just broke into his house and gave him an evil plan.

Buford asked if they could leave the evil scientist's place then, as Baljeet complained about all the time they wasted.

Phineas paused, before asking, "wait, you're not a pharmacist?"

"What, no! Why does everyone always assume that?!" Doof demanded.

"Perhaps it's the lab coat straight from Retro Pharmacist?" Norm said.

"Shut up, Norm."

"Be nice to your son!" Candace exclaimed, as Perry added angry eyebrows to the frowny face.

"Sorry sir, this has been a very big misunderstanding!" Phineas said, guiding his friends back into the bat machine thing. "We'll go find a real pharmacist now! Goodbye!"

He got in too, before flying the entire machine out. Then he remembered the giant hole in the wall, came back, hovering in place as the werebat machine sprouted giant robot arms and a bucket of glue to fix the wall like setting puzzle pieces together. The moment that was done, they left again.

"What just happened," Doof asked.

"You just met my brother," Candace said, before Perry slapped the ticket into Doof's hand.

"OH COME ON!" Doof screamed. "That wasn't even my fault!"

Perry just went and flew his jetpack off of Doof's balcony.

"CURSE YOU, RANDOM O.W.C.A. EMPLOYEE!" Doof screamed.

"...he dropped his moustache," Candace said awkwardly.

"Might I have it?" Norm asked.

"You know what, sure," Candace said, handing the glasses and moustache combo to Norm. "Have fun."

"Hooray!"

* * *

"Okay, so we have managed to convince the president to do an impromptu ruler-of-the-Tri-State-Area-for-a-day thing and got Klimpaloon, who knows the ancient art of medicinal potion-brewing, to be the mayor, so we have until the end of the day to accomplish everything!" Phineas declared.

"And how are we going to do that?" Baljeet asked.

"We find Isabella and Ferb and get them together to confess! Buford, your GPS!"

"What? I don't have GPS trackers on them!" Buford exclaimed.

Baljeet and Phineas stared at him.

Sheepishly, Buford pulled out a GPS tracker.

"Hm," Buford said. "Ferb's in his room, and, uh, I dunno what's going on with Isabella."

"What," Baljeet said, before grabbing Buford's GPS tracker. Phineas and Buford crowded around to see him work the tracker, only for Baljeet to say, "either Buford's tracker is broken, or Isabella is nowhere in Danville at the moment?"

"Okay, okay, we just need to make a super powerful locator," Phineas said frantically. "We need to get working. Fast. Before Klimpaloon stops being the ruler of the Tri-State Area!"

"I never thought I would hear that sentence in my life," Buford said.

"Agreed," Baljeet added.

Of course, the GPS tracker was functional, it just wasn't meant to function in locating people in different times.

See, Isabella was super excited about her upcoming date with Ferb. She was confident it would go well, after all, it seemed like the two of them were super interested in each other!

And then Isabella remembered that she was _confident_ Phineas would love her back and they would date and _surely_ they would get married and have so many beautiful children and-

When Isabella recovered from the trauma of all her embarrassing memories coming back at once, the anxiety set in. What if she was just assuming Ferb liked her? What if he really didn't and all the signs she got were like, because he got taken over by alien lifeforms?! Why had she been so sure that she would marry Phineas in the first place!?

It was then that she remembered a voice calling her Aunt Isabella. In fact, she very specifically recalled her going ' _that means I'll marry Phineas!'_ and Candace went ' _or Ferb'_ and Ferb _winked._

Then Isabella got a very crazy idea.

' _But you promised adult Candace that you wouldn't go into the future!'_ a voice in Isabella's head cried out.

' _But technically that promise never happened. You're the only one who remembers it,'_ another voice answered.

Isabella wavered back and forth, before she found herself running all the way to the museum. And breaking into the history exhibit. And jumping into the time machine.

It was really a really impulsive and dumb plan, because Isabella didn't really _have_ a plan. Like, she figured she would just run to future Candace's house and ask her kids what happened or something, but that was the only vague detail she had.

She failed at step one.

"Oh no. I am so busted," Isabella said, looking up at the figure before her in horror.

"Yes, yes you are," Future Candace declared, before Isabella was shoved into a burlap sack.

* * *

"Hm," Stacy said, looking at the forums in confusion.

' **Please stop trying to help flyfletchboy1, he's very wrong** ' _posted by RFOS_

' **IF MY FRIEND IS IN THE FUTURE AND WE MAKE A TIME MACHINE TO GET HER BACK WILL WE MAKE A TIME PARADOX BY RETURNING BEFORE SHE LEFT TO SAVE ON TIME BEFORE KLIMPALOON STOPS BEING RULER OF THE TRI-STATE AREA** ' _posted by flyfletchboy1_

"Ooooooh, it stands for ' _Ride from outer space'_!" Stacy realized. "It's Ferb!"


	12. Chapter 12

"Candace? What are you _doing?!"_ Isabella demanded, struggling against the sack. "Let me go!"

"Later!" Candace retorted, running through the halls of the museum. Her rough movements jostled Isabella around so much, she was too dizzy to notice they came to a stop.

That was when Future Candace placed the bag on the floor gently, as if five seconds of gentleness would erase all the bouncing and swinging Isabella had done before. With that same gentleness, she opened up the bag, freeing Isabella from the darkness, letting her see…

More darkness.

"...where are we?" Isabella asked.

"Storage closet," Candace answered.

"Why."

"Wait, no, hold on. You can't ask _me_ why!" Candace exclaimed. " _You're_ the one who showed up in the future and then _I_ had to go _break into the museum_ in the middle of the night to keep you from messing time up and _why are you here?!_ I could be sleeping right now!"

Isabella didn't answer, her expression strained.

In a tone reminiscent of a mother scolding an unruly child, Future Candace said, "Isabella. Why are you here?"

"I… may have been trying to see if I end up with your brother?" Isabella offered nervously.

In the dark closet, Isabella heard something that sounded a lot like Candace smacking her face into a wall.

"You used a time machine," another _smack,_ "risked causing a time paradox," another _smack_ , "and _woke me up in the middle of the night_ ," another _smack_ , "for _**that?"**_

"Well. I mean, yeah," Isabella answered. "Wouldn't you do the same thing, Candace?"

Future Candace paused for a very long time.

"I mean you have a point, but that doesn't mean you're right," Candace said finally. "You still shouldn't have done it."

"I… I know that," Isabella said quietly. "I was just…"

She trailed off, causing a heavy silence to settle into the dark room.

"Just what, Isabella?" Candace asked gently.

"...I was tired of doubting myself," Isabella admitted. "I mean, I kept thinking he might have liked me, but then I remembered that I was _certain_ Phineas would like me and he just… didn't. I just wanted to make sure…"

That was when Isabella felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, you're talking to the former queen of anxiety and doubting herself. I get it," Candace said. "It's terrifying, not knowing for sure before you go for it."

Isabella nodded, but then she remembered Candace couldn't see it. Still, Candace went on.

"I know you can do it," she said confidently. "You've always been stubborn."

"What if he doesn't like me back?" Isabella asked.

"What if he does?" Candace shot back. "What if he agrees to be your boyfriend?"

"Did he?"

"Hey, I'm not telling you," Candace said. "You need to just up and ask him."

Isabella let out a disappointed groan, before taking a deep breath.

"You're right. I need to just…! Say it! I'll tell him right after our date- I mean, somewhat platonic outing to the movie theatre!"

"Great! Do your best and get back in the bag!" Future Candace said cheerfully. "You need to get back to the past!"

"...can we skip the bag this time?" Isabella asked.

"I'll just blindfold you this time," Candace answered, making Isabella groan.

* * *

Candace guided Isabella through the museum by the hand. The only sound Isabella could hear was the sound of their footsteps echoing through the halls. It felt all so… eerily empty, though Isabella knew it was long past the museum's opening hours.

"Well, we're here," Candace said quietly, guiding Isabella to the door of the time machine. Isabella felt the machine, before cautiously getting in.

She heard Candace fiddling with the date of destination input, before the sound trailed off.

"Isabella," Future Candace said. "What day did you come here?"

Isabella opened her mouth to answer, only to pause. Then she furrowed her brows, holding her chin in her hand as she thought.

"You don't remember," Future Candace said flatly.

"I don't remember," Isabella confirmed.

"Oh, just _great_ , how am I supposed to send you back when you _don't even remember!"_

"Well maybe I would remember better if you didn't shove me into a sack! Why did you even shove me into a sack!?"

"Ask yourself that!" Candace snapped. "Your future self was the one who called me in the middle of the night and told me to drive to the museum with a burlap sack and when I asked why you were saying things like ' _time paradox'_ and ' _if things don't happen as I remember it we might die'_ and ' _rainbow rose firework cannons'_ and-"

"Rainbow rose firework cannons?" Isabella asked.

"You said you would know what it means in ten years, four months, and two days!"

Isabella gasped.

"That's it! If we work backwards from whatever today's date is, we have when to send me back!"

"Isabella, you tiny little genius!" Candace cheered, ruffling Isabella's hair.

"Um, but you have to do it," Isabella said. "Since, you know, blindfold."

"Oh, right, hold on."

Isabella heard her mess with the date once more, then the sound of Candace grabbing the lever.

"Do your best, Isabella."

Isabella nodded, before she was sent back.

* * *

"Phineas, this will most likely break time," Baljeet warned as the redhead worked on a replica of the time machine in the museum.

"Nah, it's fine, we can fix it after," Phineas replied casually.

"That is not how that works. That is not how _anything works_."

"Uh, guys?" Buford said, because there was that weird effect that happened every time someone was time travelling.

"Listen, we can just fix it! It's fine!"

"No, Phineas! We are not going to break time again!"

" _GUYS."_

"It's not even breaking time! We're bending it a little! For true love!"

"PHINEAS WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE THAT THEY DON'T-"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh-" Buford said, because Isabella appeared in a time machine.

"I have to do my best to confess!" Isabella exclaimed as she jumped out, landing on the floor easily.

The three boys stared after her in stunned silence as she ran out of the museum, discarding her blindfold on the way. It was only after she was long gone that Phineas went, "oh, alright, we broke the curse and now she's confessing to Ferb on her own."

Baljeet facepalmed.

* * *

Isabella was antsy, because she really didn't want to just break into Ferb's house to confess to him. Phineas and Candace and their parents and Perry could be there and she would just die, okay?

 _However_ , she was also anxious and excited, which made her feel the incredible, desperate impulse to do _something_.

She needed to tell _someone_ of her drive and passion, but the candidates she could think of were her friends (most still thought she liked Phineas), Candace (still at work), Ferb himself (ABSOLUTELY NOT)-

And then Isabella remembered the forums.

It was a terrible idea, but she went ahead and went for it anyways, for a lack of any other outlet.

* * *

**bow-buff:** _That's it! I'm going to tell him how I feel! No running away!_

**RFOS:** _do your best_

* * *

"Huh," Stacy said, looking at the topic in curiosity. It was a bit funny to her that like, neither one noticed whatever was going on here, but honestly, one of them should have noticed by now, right?

* * *

Now, again, Ferb had actual powers of observation. Normally he would probably have put together the dots by now, even if he didn't tell anyone. However, he was assuming that bow-buff was not Isabella, because really, how often did someone look at a username on the internet and go "hey, that must be one of my friends"?

Even if she lived in the same city, bow-buff described having a crush on the younger brother and then falling for the older brother. If it was Isabella, then she said she used to have a crush on Ferb and then fell for Phineas. That obviously wasn't the case.

Well, Ferb knew that Isabella didn't actually _learn_ Ferb was younger until _after_ bow-buff's first post went up. However, he was incapable of going ' _hey, if she thought I was older at first, then wouldn't that mean she used to crush on Phineas and then fell for me?'_ because he thought Isabella was incapable of liking him.

Because, well, it was _Isabella._ He very specifically remembered her singing about how she came over everyday to see Phineas and ask what he was doing. Not Ferb. It was never directed at Ferb. Then on her birthday, she sang about how all she ever wanted was time alone with Phineas, without any of the add-ons… and there was also that time Isabella reacted badly to the idea of marrying him… even as a joke...

Despite all of these cases happening when they were like, ten, it kinda cemented the idea that Isabella would never be attracted to him, regardless of whether or not Phineas was in the picture.

So obviously, bow-buff had to be someone else in Danville with a love for bows and had something complicated with two brothers. Maybe Thaddeus and Thor?

This assumption was totally not something that could ever backfire on either of them. Especially not when they had an outing to the movies planned, and Ferb thought Isabella could never liked him, while Isabella planned on confessing then.


	13. Chapter 13

"Okay, I have faith in the powers of Klimpaloon, but just in case-"

"Phineas, what are you doing," Isabella asked flatly. "Why are you in my house."

"I'm helping you prepare for your date," Phineas answered with a grin. "Now, which shirt do you like better, Isabella?"

He presented her with two t-shirts, both reading ' **I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH FERB FLETCHER** '.

Isabella just gaped at him.

Not because he broke into her house or anything, she just couldn't handle how really bold and garish those shirts were. She felt bad about it, but they were… super ugly.

One was neon pink and the other was neon green, the font written in the main colour of the other shirt. It clashed so badly. It was so bad.

"Phineas, do you not have any other options?" Isabella asked.

"I'm so glad you asked!" Phineas exclaimed, before stepping out of her room, only to step back in with an entire trunk of clothes.

Isabella couldn't even figure out what to say to that.

* * *

Now, Isabella and Ferb's movie date was bound to be a disaster, for several reasons.

First off, Isabella had asked Phineas for help during the date itself.

Yes, she knew it was a terrible idea, but Phineas was kind of the only person she could talk to in-person about her crush. Plus, two heads were better than one, right?

Then, Phineas had gotten Stacy over to help him give Isabella advice, because he didn't want to mess up his advice, and three heads were better than two, right?

(He would have asked Buford and Baljeet, but they didn't want to. They went to do what they always did when they escaped from Phineas' antics: go film one of Buford's online webseries.)

Second, Stacy was uploading a play-by-play to the forums to amuse herself.

Third, Vanessa was bored at work again, found Stacy's forum posts, and was now screaming suggestions at her, because four heads were better than three.

So, basically, Vanessa was giving Stacy advice on how to give Phineas advice on how to give Isabella advice on the situation.

Vanessa and Stacy provided input on what clothes Isabella should wear, with Phineas custom-emblazoning the clothes with ' **I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH FERB FLETCHER'** everywhere. Vanessa also suggested getting a cute gift, which Stacy passed onto Phineas with a "hey, what does Ferb like? Isabella could give him a gift," which led to Phineas preparing his own interpretation of what a good gift for his brother would be.

Isabella showed up as Ferb was buying popcorn for the two of them in advance, as Stacy said something about showing up fashionably late and playing hard to get.

"...Isabella?" Ferb asked.

"H-hey there," Isabella greeted him back with a friendly grin, before wincing and grabbing at her ear. "I mean, _hey_. I mean, um, yo! How's it… hanging?"

For his part, Ferb took Isabella's sudden appearance mostly well, considering that he immediately replied with a nod of acknowledgement.

Which was really impressive, considering that Isabella was wearing ripped jeans, a blouse decorated with ribbons and lace, and a cowboy hat with matching boots, all an eyesearingly bright pink and patterned with line after line declaring ' **I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH FERB FLETCHER'** in alternating bubblegum and hot pink. She was also badly hiding an earpiece communicator behind her hair. Ferb's composure was additionally impressive when one considered that she had brought a mechanical chicken with her. It clucked and ticked and everything.

"Do you want to trade?" Ferb asked.

"Huh?"

Ferb held up the big bag popcorn he had bought, then motioned at the mechanical chicken with his other hand.

"Oh! Um, yeah, this… this was for you, anyways!" Isabella exclaimed.

Ferb looked surprised by that, before making the trade with her.

"Thank you," Ferb said.

"Of course!" Isabella exclaimed eagerly, before backtracking. "I mean… do you like it?" She then flinched and held her ear. "I mean…! It's not like I…. actually wanted to make you happy or anything…? I mean, um, I'm spending time with you but I don't actually… it's not… um…..I'm not supposed to say I like you that way, apparently?!"

Ferb patiently waited for her to figure out what she wanted to say. Isabella

"So! Wanna head to our seats already?" Isabella asked with a charming smile, like all of that stuttering never happened.

Ferb was getting very mixed messages from Isabella by this point, but he nodded anyway.

Isabella's grin only widened as they started walking.

The mood between them had absolutely no right being romantic, considering that Ferb was holding a metal chicken. But said chicken was made by Phineas, certified madman.

With a bite from its beak and several flaps of its wings, it physically yanked Ferb over to Isabella.

"Uh?!" Isabella said, gasping at the sudden feeling of Ferb's hand on her shoulder.

Ferb quickly apologized and tried to pull his hand back, only for the chicken to start squawking at them. In a panic, Ferb put his hand back, and the chicken calmed down.

The two of them looked at each other, then at the chicken.

"U-um… here, this might be better," Isabella said shyly, her cheeks turning pink as she adjusted their position. She rested her hand in the crook of Ferb's right elbow, her other holding the popcorn while Ferb held the chicken.

Ferb nodded awkwardly, suddenly blushing as well.

And so they went into the theatre itself.

By the way, it was terrible. Isabella could not pay attention to the movie.

Vanessa was screaming that Isabella had to at the very least hold Ferb's hand, which conflicted greatly with Stacy's ' _hard to get'_ strategy, so Stacy changed the order to "just accidentally bump your hand into his. Completely accidentally. Do _not_ linger," and Phineas interpreted this as "Isabella, I think bump is an euphemism for punch. I think you need to punch Ferb."

Isabella, however, had the common sense to realize that punching her crush in the anywhere was a terrible, terrible, no-good, very bad idea. So she did her best to ignore Phineas' insistence that she punch his brother. It was very not working, because her hand was hovering over the popcorn in a tightly-clenched, slightly trembling fist.

Ferb, however, had actually been doing his best to pay attention (to distract himself from being a blushing mess.) Attention in a movie theatre quite naturally required him to be munching on popcorn.

And in the darkness of the room, his hand accidentally bumped into Isabella's.

In an absolute panic, Isabella flinched, her fist flying forward at whatever just touched her. But, Ferb was self-conscious enough to withdraw his hand the moment he touched her.

The mechanical chicken was not.

It went absolutely wild in the movie theatre, squawking and screaming over the movie audio.

And then it self-destructed.

Normally, a giant hole being exploded into the movie projector screen would mean that the movie was over. However, Ferb was sitting there, and he carried a giant map on him at all times, in case the need for a giant airplane or a map arose. In no time, he had unfolded the thing and stuck it to the four corners of the screen with tape.

This was enough for the movie theatre employees to not instantly kick him and Isabella out. Though when the movie ended and the pair left the room, some employees were staring at them. Or maybe it was Isabella's outfit.

Isabella felt uncomfortable. Not because of the staring or anything, but because her earpiece was going wild and she could not tell why Phineas was screaming.

Ferb, however, interpreted her grimace as a sign that she did not like being stared at. So, he addressed the problem in the best way he could.

He grabbed Isabella's hand and activated an invisibility device.

The employees were not paid enough to care about disappearing people during their shift, though a boy with his parents gasped and dropped his 3D glasses.

Isabella, though, cared a lot less about being invisible and more the fact that Ferb was holding her hand. She squeaked and lifted their intertwined hands in shock, but she wasn't pulling away.

Ferb was embarrassed, obviously, but he was also distracted by the idea of using this newfound invisibility to sneak into a few movies with Isabella. He decided otherwise when he realized that someone might sit on them.

So instead, he asked her if she wanted to leave. Isabella's response was to wince and grab at her ear again, before ripping the thing off.

"Yeah… um, that'd be cool with me," Isabella said.

Ferb nodded, before starting to walk off.

Neither one of them let go on the way back.

* * *

They wound up back in the Flynn-Fletcher living room, and Isabella decided, heck, she would do her confession her own way. She politely asked Ferb to wait while she changed clothes in the bathroom.

(She _had_ been in the middle of picking her outfit when Phineas broke in, after all.)

Ferb didn't mind at all.

This was when Candace and Doof were preparing a Forget-All-About-That-Embarrassing-Moment-Inator, by the way. It did what you might expect: erase embarrassing memories on someone's mind.

Said Inator _may_ have accidentally fired and reflected off a bunch of things until it was aimed straight at the Flynn-Fletcher house? More specifically, at the bathroom window...

Thankfully, though, Phineas was trying to build a giant rollercoaster in the backyard, so it bounced off the body of the cart and hit Irving, who suddenly forgot all about that time he hit on Isabella once.

So, Isabella came back, nervous and fidgeting with a pink skirt and the sleeves of her cute white blouse.

"Ferb…? I kinda have something to… to tell you."

Ferb looked up from his phone, putting it away to give her a thumbs-up and patting the spot next to him on the couch.

She sat down next to him, twirling a bit of her hair around her finger.

"See, I… um. I…"

Isabella screamed at herself mentally for getting tongue-tied, but her thoughts came to an abrupt stop when Ferb took her hand again.

She blushed quickly, which was a shame, because that was when Ferb dropped his phone in her hand.

"Eh?"

' _If you have been brainwashed or mind controlled by aliens, press one,'_ a pleasantly synthetic woman's voice said. ' _If you have been possessed by a ghost, press two. If Phineas put you up to this, press four. If, you somehow got a crush on me, press five-'_

"YES!" Isabella screamed, before backpedalling. "I mean, five!? I mean, I-!"

Ferb's eyes widened as his phone kept rattling off potential scenarios, before he shut it off. He frantically pointed at her, then at himself.

"Yeah, I mean it! I have… a crush… on you…" Isabella trailed off, suddenly hit by a surge of shyness. "I mean… I like you."

And then Ferb pinched himself. Then he did it again. And again.

"Ferb? What are you doing?" Isabella asked, as he pinched himself for a fourth time.

"Oh. This is real?" Ferb asked in return. "You actually… like me back?"

"I mean, that requires that _you_ like _me_ in the first place…" Isabella paused, before blurting out, "You like me?!"

Ferb nodded shyly.

"Oh. Oh my gosh. I. Hold on. I need to pinch myself now!" Isabella exclaimed, before Ferb shook his head.

"I think I have an easier way of seeing if this is real."

"Huh? You do?" Isabella asked, as Ferb gently cupped her face in his hands.

"Push me away if you hate it," he said, before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.

It was different from their other kisses. Every other time, they stuck to chaste pecks and bad excuses, knowing that anything more would reveal more than they dared to confess.

But now, Ferb was _confessing_ , in his own quiet way.

And Isabella confessed in turn.

Then Ferb pulled away, but Isabella was _not_ letting him get away with _just_ a peck on the lips.

She grabbed the labels of his shirt collar and pulled him back towards her. Ferb was stiff with shock, but, sometime around the moment Isabella wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he relaxed enough to hold her back.

It was just getting good when Phineas burst into the room.

"Hey, Ferb, did you see the—" Phineas cut himself off at the sight of them making out on the couch, but his reaction was not the enthusiasm or reviled horror one would expect of a boy walking in on his brother making out with a girl on the couch. Instead, he sighed at the two of them with tired eyes. "What patch is it _this_ time?"

"Uh," Isabella let out, a bit breathless and sheepish as she pulled away, "Emotional Bravery?"

"I cannot _believe_ the two of you," Phineas huffed. "It should be mathematically impossible for you two to not be dating yet—"

"Phineas, isn't there literally anything else you can be doing right now," Ferb asked bluntly, his tone annoyed and impatient all at once. It should be noted that he was still holding Isabella by the waist and still had his other hand entangled in her hair.

"Oh, right, I was making the romance-coaster to help you two get together," Phineas remembered. "Just keep... doing whatever, I'll make sure you two stop being dumb and oblivious and have the best date ever when I'm done!"

Declaring that, Phineas returned to the backyard.

Isabella was still staring after the redhead, before asking, "should we tell him?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to what he comes up with," Ferb said.

"Yeah, I am too," Isabella confessed.

With that settled, they went back to what they were doing before they got so rudely interrupted.


	14. Chapter 14

**Around ten years, four months, and a day later**

"Ferb? Why is there a big red button in our living room?" Isabella asked, hesitating with her hand over the button embedded in the wall. On one hand, curiosity beckoned, on the other hand, the last time she pressed a big red button, it was while she was visiting Candace at work and everything exploded into paint. It had been _incredibly_ awkward to watch Vanessa's dad start crying.

Ferb came out of his workroom, smelling distinctly of motor oil and confidence. He took one look at the situation and made the decision to scoop Isabella into his arms.

"Huh?!" Isabella screamed, blushing as Ferb carried her to the centre of the room. He set her down there gently, before going to the wall and pressing the button.

Then, the lights went out.

"Huh?!" Isabella screamed again, before the floor started to glow in rainbow hues.

That was when the cannons appeared.

They shot fireworks and flowers into the air and Isabella did not know how they weren't destroying the ceiling, but she was too awed by the display to bother asking.

She didn't know how she didn't notice Ferb, but she didn't, not until he held her hand and offered her a rose. Isabella grinned as she took it.

Then he squeezed her hand as the fireworks started up again.

This time, instead of bursts of light, they spelled out words.

Isabella gasped at the question, turning to Ferb to find that he was holding out a ring to her.

"Yes! Yes, of course!" she screamed happily, throwing herself at him.

He stumbled backwards a bit, before catching her with a kiss.

The two laughed as they separated, before Isabella spoke.

"How did you even do this?" she asked. "Where is our ceiling?"

Ferb shrugged, saying, "a magician never reveals his secrets."

Isabella rolled her eyes.

"Should've figured. Though, I would _love_ to see a magician who does rainbow rose firework cannon shows."

She froze.

"Oh no."

"Isabella?" Ferb asked.

"HOLD ON I NEED TO CALL CANDACE!" she screamed as she ran out of the room.

Ferb's confusion lasted for about two seconds, because Isabella ran back in to kiss him on the cheek and say, "I still say yes it's just that I have to prevent a time paradox."

Ferb didn't know how to react to that, though he was happy she said yes.

(Phineas only found out at their wedding, after years of denial.)


End file.
